Worst Jokes Ever
Most people age up on their birthdays,
Stephen levels up.
Why can't blind people fish?
Because it was "see food."
What time is it when you can drive home from phone?
What is the difference between a tree house for dinner, and dinner with you today after school?
Your forehead [is] so big [that] every time you shout, your forehead starts pulsing.
Setting: Funeral Home
Customer: Yes, I was considering what would be the best option for cheap cremation, but I feel that's silly to ask.
Funeral Director: Oh! We do have these nice urns over here at a discounted 75 percent off.
Customer: Okay? What's the catch? That's almost 300 dollars off?
Funeral Director: I assure you these are top-of-the-line urns and will keep your loved ones' remains secure and dry.
Customer: Okay?
Funeral Director: Yep, these have only been used once, so it is absolutely worth the purchase.
By: MiniMemorials.com
Why did the cow cross the road?
Because the chicken was on vacation.
How [does] a disabled kid face [the] Jalalas?
He can't run, just hug the bomb.
What do you call your sister who only has one leg?
Ei-lean.
What do you call your sister if she only has one leg?
Ei-lean.
He’s not dead, just his storage unit.
What do you call a burger 🍔 with one eye?
A one giant.
What has 8 legs and 2 ears? A dog.
Why did the chicken not cross the road?
Because it saw your face!
My dad came over late at night. He was drunk. He started telling me how useless I was. Then I went to the kitchen, grabbed a knife, and stabbed him in the chest 47 times.
Three minutes later, he died. Now I’m losing my mind and cutting myself.
Dear Hearing People,
We, deaf people, ain’t dead. We can use our hands to talk, eat & fist your face to give you some 💡 awareness that we can understand you 💯 meanwhile we laugh at you 🤡 We can even dance via vibration through music.
Do you know the song w lyric like this 👇 *white b.... accent: Ohhh.. MY God BECKY.. L👀k at her butt. IT is SO BIG. *BIG BEAT DROP* I...LIKE...BIG...BUTT...I cannot LIE 👻 I promise we ain’t ghosting around - Brittany Rose.
When you throw paper at a hill, you can say, "Hey, look, it is like Kobe's helicopter!"
On the 12th day of Christmas Peo Pessi gave to me:
12 tap ins
11 pointless dribbles
10 fixed league titles
9 missed penalties
8-2
6 dives
500 million robbed from Barca
4 UCL semi losses
3 times he blamed Higuain
2 retirements
And a transfer to a farmers league.
Jack and Jill went up a hill so Jill could lick Jack's candystick, but Jill got a surprise when she saw her boyfriend Rik. He got so angry Jack has no candystick no more. Jill went home with a black eye, and Rik got arrested for cutting Jack's candystick.
Wife: Stop telling rape jokes, it's not funny. Husband: Who raped you this morning?