Worst Jokes Ever
Mom, shut up. Me? I don't shut up, I grow up. When I look at you, I throw up.
What do you call a Muslim with Tourette’s? A ticcing time bomb.
What do you call two men fucking? My dad and I. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
A man who thinks he's funny but is actually a transvestite/transformer.
My therapist said to try having a different outlook on life.
I agree. I should have a different outlook on life. Preferably from underground.
You know how in the movie, "Nightmare Before Christmas," they say they're making Christmas?
I thought Mary and Joseph did, but okay.
My sister and I were hanging out when she opened her drawer and pulled out 3 condoms and said, "Pick one."
Roses are red, violets are blue, Cause comes near my Willy.
I wrote puns on a piece of paper like this:
P. P. P. P. U. U. U. U. N. N. N. N. S. S. S. S.
Then I showed them to my teacher, asking him what they had in common.
“They are all very tearable,” he replied.
Well, there is one person who gets it!
What is the king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Hail, of course!
What is another king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Reign!
One time a man climbed a mountain and saw a guy.
"Who are you?"
"I am mountain man!"
Orphans and homeless people are the same thing.
While writing my suicide note, I got a paper cut... it’s a start.
What did the letter A say to the letter B?
"Z" you later.
Why can’t October fool April?
Because only April fools.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you going to the movies tonight?
Technoblade: Makes jokes about orphans while in hospital.
Doctors to Technoblade's dad: Sorry for your loss.
Technoblade: What do you mean?? I'm right here!!
Orphans found parents: Who's he talking to??
I was the manager at a McDonald’s in Turin when I saw Penaldo walk in and submit a job application. I asked him to show me his skills and experience, but he just started diving and asking for pens and tap-ins. I was confused until Penaldo told me that’s all he knows how to do.
Teacher makes 1 kid recite the ABCs and the other count to 10.
Teacher: You can kill 2 birds with 1 stone.
Little Johnny goes home and throws a rock at two birds. One dies. He gives his dad a concussion from the rock hitting his head.
Johnny at school: You can kill a bird and give a man a concussion.
A priest sees a man about to commit suicide. The man says, "I have nothing to live for here. I will die, go to Heaven, and get 72 virgins." Then the priest says, "No need for this. I will take you to the local elementary school."