Worst Jokes Ever
Why can't Michael Jackson play baseball?
He made a hit and run!
What's the difference between Derek Boogaard and Kurt Cobain? Nothing, they were both fucked in the brain when they died.
Why is pounding your mom like playing video games?
Because once you start, you just can’t stop until you win!
Me: “You guys wanna know a cool fact?”
Friend 1: “Yeah.”
Friend 2: “Yea.”
Me: “Japan is RIGHT that way. If we swim all night...we’ll be able to get to Japan.”
Friend 3: “I love anime.”
Friend 1 & 2: “Nononononononononono!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Me: *Laughs at Friend 3*
How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it!
What's the difference between a flower and an orphan?
One is allowed in the house.
Another Nazi joke.
Did Nazi that coming?
Did Jew?
Have you heard anything about this Chuck Norris guy? Yeh, me neither.
What do Americans call high school?
Shooting range.
This isn't an orphan joke, but I got a job at a library, but it only lasted 15 minutes. Turns out, books about women’s rights shouldn’t go in the Sci-Fi / Fantasy section.
Why can orphans get away with robbing the bank?
Because no one wants him.
Talking about planets with my nephew.
He asked if you could plow thru Uranus because it's all gas.
My sister is the weird dark one and emo of the family. I'm the bright happy one. Once in 3rd grade, I got a huge A on mine, and my sis got a D-.
In the playground near a tree, we were sitting and playing. I said, "Hey, a C- is not that bad," and raised my hand up to give her a high five, but she left me hanging.
What would a heterosexual woman that is a whore do for $500.00 that a gay man would be willing to do for free for a heterosexual man at a glory hole?
Suck his big cock.
What's the difference between Jeffrey Dahmer and an Emo?
They're both gay and use knives.
What is the difference between a normal kid and an orphan?
A normal kid has a family.
I was given an invisibility cloak by my grandfather, but it was stolen in 2013. After investigating this issue, I have come to the conclusion it was Robert Lewandisney.
That's why he was invisible in every big game since 2013. SHAME ON YOU LEWANDISNEY!
I got caught fucking a dead body by my family. RIP grandma.
Why can’t orphans be gay?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
Yo mama so fat they faked COVID-19 just to put a mask on her.