Worst Jokes Ever
What's the difference between a depressed person and a pizza? Pizza won't cut itself.
Yesterday I saw an orphan walking down the street. I asked him if he was ok. He said no, so I asked him if he needed help. And he said yes, so I let him in my car and said, "Don't worry, you'll be home with you parents soon." He said, "My parents died." I said, "I know...." I went for the cliffs.
No, it's not just a crotch grab. Jacko was jacking it on stage when he saw a 6-year-old boy in the front row.
Why do nuns walk in groups?
So one “nun” can keep an eye on the other “nun” just to make sure that she isn’t getting "nun".
What do magicians and prostitutes have in common?
Answer: disappearing acts.
How do you get 1 million followers?
You run through Africa with a bottle of water.
You know Bofa? Bofa deez nuts.
There were two guys in an asylum. One was named Kenny, and the other was Bob. The nurse went down the hall and saw Kenny acting like he was packing his bags. The nurse said, “What are you doin', Kenny?” Kenny said, “Going to Florida for the week.” The nurse said, “Alright, see ya when you get back.”
Next day, the nurse went down the hall again and saw Kenny lying down acting like he was holding a wine glass. The nurse said, “What are you doing, Kenny?” Kenny said, “I am at the beach.” The nurse said, “Oh, I forgot you're in Florida for the week, see ya when you get back.” Bob's room was across the hall. The nurse went further down the hall and saw Bob on his bed jerking off. The nurse said, “Goddamnit, Bob, what are you doing?” Bob said, “Shhh, I am fucking Kenny's wife right now, he is in Florida for the week.”
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Well, it depends on how hard you throw them.
Did you hear of the guy who was sad about being in a wheelchair? He had that crippling depression.
What do squirrels and men have in common?
They always want a nut.
What do you call an autistic person with a driver's license?
A LETHAL WEAPON!
What’s loud, red and goes at 200mph?
Paul Walker’s Porsche.
What do you do if you see someone raping your girlfriend? Help out. There is no way she can fight both of you. Then, find the poor man a lawyer.
My ex was an orphan as a child.
I should have taken that as the first sign.
If her parents didn't want her, why would I?
Your hairline's so bent, it goes west, east, north, and south!
dont make jokes about the accident my dad died in it he was the best pilot in all of Saudi Arabia :(
I'm sweating like Michael Jackson at a kindergarten.
What do you call a cup with a handle?
A mug! HAHA ha... My parents just got a divorce :(
I'm a rapist.