Worst Jokes Ever

A father came to his daughter's 18th birthday. He finally came.

If orphans made phones, it wouldn't have a home button.

I got suspended at school today. I lit a kid's wheelchair on fire and called him "Hot Wheels."

I must have at least 87 years of bad luck; every time I look in the mirror, it breaks!

Why did the dumb blonde pee inside the condom?

Because the doctor told the dumb blonde that the dumb blonde was going to get a urine test!

You know how sometimes you want to listen to music?

But everything you listen to is just supremely unsatisfying, even if it's songs you usually love; they are just so unappealing, and you have no idea what you actually want to listen to.

My friend was in a wheelchair, so I rolled him in fire. Now I call him Hot Wheels.

What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing, because they are walls.

Why can you bully orphans?

What are they gonna do, tell their parents? Oh wait, they got no parents.

What flour do orphans use whilst making cakes? Self-raising.

Why can’t orphans play baseball?

Because they don’t have a home to run to.

What did the police say on the TV during 9/11?

"Call 911!"

Why did Michael Jackson become white? He wanted to be like a ghost, and I have any feeheet.

Me: I will f**k ur mom.

Orphan: I don't have one.

Me: ......

Jesus saved me from eternal fate, but I didn't want to get saved. I was about to fight Satan on Final Destination before facing and kicking God's ass.

I pray to a dead human I hope to be reunited with.

Jesus, that's sick.

I know your hairline's pretty bent, but your gender's on a different level.

What do an orphan and an apple not have in common?

The apple actually gets picked.

Why can't orphans be gay?

'Cause they can't call anyone "Daddy."

I like orphan boys, no homo.