Worst Jokes Ever

Many were curious about how methane ended up on Mars.

I'm pretty sure it was because of Uranus.

Son: Dad, what's a morbid joke?

Father: Walk over to a homeless man and throw a rock at him, then you will know.

Son: But Dad, I don't have arms or legs.

Father: Now you know.

Interviewer: Hey JFK, what’s your favorite song by Jessie J?

JFK: I er ah Bang Bang.

Don't believe what your school bully tells you.

Always take it with a grain of assault.

Mom, shut up. Me? I don't shut up, I grow up. When I look at you, I throw up.

How many skinheads does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

10; 1 to do it and 9 to back him up.

Rangers are a joke.

A kid went to visit his bully, and he says, "How's your face?" The kid says, "How's your parents?" and proceeds to walk out of the orphanage.

Why do I look nervous when I enter the church? Is it just because I'm the only one with the bomb?

Why can't all orphans learn about ancient Egypt? Because they don't know what a mummy is.

If you're gay, does that mean you're sexist?

There is going to be a wild party at the orphanage, the parents aren't home.

God, those orphans were putting up such a fight, I had to lock 'em in the basement.

What's the difference between Jesus and a picture? You need only one nail to hang a picture.

I am not a nerd ;). I'm just smarter than you.

What did the girl with no hands get for her birthday?...

We don't know; she hasn't opened it yet.

Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl urinate? Because walls.

Yo momma so fat, she tried to eat a pie chart.

What do you call a gay dwarf?

Coming out of the cupboard.

Tell an orphan: if you got no parents, clap your hands.