Worst Jokes Ever
Flat Earther pickup line: "The Earth may be flat, but Uranus is round."
Why is there only 363 days in an orphan calendar? Because they don't have Mother's Day or Father's Day.
Sometimes I wish my gf was here, that way we could have some fun in my bed. Then I realize she's right across the hall. (SWEET HOME ALABAMA)!!
My boss had the heart of a child.
In a jar. On his desk.
What do you call a cute boy with Down syndrome?
Awwtistic.
Yo hairline be lookin' like Elmo's toe fungus.
My girlfriend told me the dishwasher was leaking, so I brought home some tampons.
Boss: You're fired.
Me: *pauses porn* Why?
I hate the term feminazi. It is offensive to real Nazis.
Why does a heterosexual man believe that if a heterosexual man gets his dick sucked by another heterosexual man it's called a "brojob"?
Because it's male bonding.
No, it's not just a crotch grab. Jacko was jacking it on stage when he saw a 6-year-old boy in the front row.
My life is the joke.
What does a pedophile and a light switch have in common?
They both get turned on by children.
Last night, I burned an orphanage. There was one survivor who said I would regret it. I said, "What are you gonna do? Tell your parents?"
What's the difference between a depressed person and a pizza? Pizza won't cut itself.
Yesterday I saw an orphan walking down the street. I asked him if he was ok. He said no, so I asked him if he needed help. And he said yes, so I let him in my car and said, "Don't worry, you'll be home with you parents soon." He said, "My parents died." I said, "I know...." I went for the cliffs.
Why do nuns walk in groups?
So one “nun” can keep an eye on the other “nun” just to make sure that she isn’t getting "nun".
How do you get 1 million followers?
You run through Africa with a bottle of water.
You know Bofa? Bofa deez nuts.
There were two guys in an asylum. One was named Kenny, and the other was Bob. The nurse went down the hall and saw Kenny acting like he was packing his bags. The nurse said, “What are you doin', Kenny?” Kenny said, “Going to Florida for the week.” The nurse said, “Alright, see ya when you get back.”
Next day, the nurse went down the hall again and saw Kenny lying down acting like he was holding a wine glass. The nurse said, “What are you doing, Kenny?” Kenny said, “I am at the beach.” The nurse said, “Oh, I forgot you're in Florida for the week, see ya when you get back.” Bob's room was across the hall. The nurse went further down the hall and saw Bob on his bed jerking off. The nurse said, “Goddamnit, Bob, what are you doing?” Bob said, “Shhh, I am fucking Kenny's wife right now, he is in Florida for the week.”