Worst Jokes Ever
Lick my nut.
Donald Trump didn't build a wall because he likes going to islands to touch little girls.
What does an Asian doorbell sound like?
"Wing wong wung wang, wong wang wing wong!"
Like if you think oily men are hot.
I hate life, and I'm gay.
Are you a train? Because I want you to run over me. :)
What did the dentist say to the butt?
"That's the largest cavity I've ever seen!"
One day, inexplicably, my talking parrot started insulting me. He called me an idiot, a fool, a jerk, stupid, and a variety of other nasty names. I warned the squawker to cease, but to no avian avail. Fed up, I finally flipped the foul-mouthed feather-brain into the freezer...but after about 15 seconds, I relented and let him out.
"I'm so sorry," he declared! "I don't know what came over me, and realize I shouldn't have said those terrible things. I hope you can forgive me, and I promise never to do it again! By the way...what did the chicken do?" 🐔😂
Why do New Yorkers get what Spider-Man is saying?
Because he always makes spider-sense.
What do you do if you see an Indian woman getting raped? Nothing, since raping is a normal everyday part of Indian culture.
The "M" and "D" in "orphan" stands for Mom and Dad.
What do you call a little boy with no arms and no legs?
Names.
Why is the USA so bad at chess? It already lost 2 towers.
An old lady walks into an ice cream store. A clerk greets her and says, "What will it be today, ma'am? We have every flavor you can imagine." The old lady says, "Well, I guess I'd like a quart of chocolate ice cream." The clerk says, "Sorry, ma'am, we're out of chocolate today. Any other flavor we'll have." "Ok," she replies, "Why don't you just give me a pint of chocolate ice cream?" The clerk says a little louder in case she's hard of hearing, "Sorry, ma'am, but we're fresh out of chocolate ice cream." The old lady says, "Oh, ok. Why don't you just get me a cone with one scoop of chocolate ice cream?"
Finally, totally exasperated, the clerk says, "Wait a minute, lady. Can you spell 'Van' as in vanilla?" "Why of course, young man," she says, "V-A-N." "Right," the clerk says, "Can you spell 'Straw' as in strawberry?" "Well of course, 'Straw'," she replied. "Ok, then," he says, "Now spell 'Fuck' as in chocolate." She says, "There's no 'Fuck' in chocolate." He says, "That's what I've been trying to tell you... THERE'S NO FUCKING CHOCOLATE!!!"
Why don’t orphans have sex?
Because they have no one to call “daddy.”
What is the difference between a retard and a zombie anyway?
They’re always hungry and shuffle around aimlessly, moaning... Oh, and it takes a bullet in the forehead to put them both down.
Uh!!!
I had asked my dog what 2 - 2 is...
She said nothing.
Why don’t orphans understand the meaning of a family reunion?
Because they’re not wanted, yet maybe they should rob a 🏦 bank ;)
What’s the difference between rape and marriage?
With marriage, you get to keep the screaming woman.
I heard that the numbers on the front of your credit card represent the number of minutes until you meet the 💕 love of your life!💕
And the 3 numbers on the back represent the month and day you make it official!!
Comment those numbers to lock it in!!😄