Worst Jokes Ever
What is the difference between the Twin Towers and Elton John?
Elton John is still standing.
What is the smallest skyscraper in the world? The World Trade Centre.
What's the last thing Asians hear from their parents?
"My money is my money. Your money is my money. Your wife's money is my money. Always remember that, son."
What was OceanGate's biggest regret?
Not painting Dylan Mulvaney on the side of the Titan submarine for when it sunk like Bud Light's profits.
What's the slogan for a Muslim gym?
Might in dynamite.
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day; set a man on fire, and he'll be warm the rest of his life.
What's an Indian's favorite drug?
Beans.
My penis is big and long, what else is... my condom... cucumber.
How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they can't change anything.
Yo Mama is so stupid, she thought the football team Rams were actually the animal rams.
Are you a border? 'Cause I can't get over you.
What do you call a Lesbian at a Barbecue? A LGBBQ.
When Pope Pius IX died, he went to Heaven, knocked at the door, and St. Peter opened it: "Who are you? What do you want?”
"I am Pope Pius. I want to come to Heaven.”
“Where do you come from?"
"Rome."
“What do you mean? Rome, Massachusetts, or Rome, New York?"
"No, Rome, Italy, of course."
“I'm very sorry, but I do not know you!”
To make sure not to erroneously deny access to an authorized person, Saint Peter takes the telephone, calls up God, and asks: "Hello, Boss, here is a guy who says he is the Pope of Rome, do you know him?"
"What do you mean: Rome, Massachusetts, or Rome, New York?"
"No, Rome, Italy, of course."
"No, sorry, I don’t know him.”
Saint Peter makes another telephone call and rings up Jesus: "Hello, Junior, here’s a guy who says he is the Pope of Rome, do you know him?"
"Rome, Massachusetts, or Rome, New York?"
"Rome, Italy."
"No, sorry, never heard of him.”
Saint Peter still does not give up and finally calls up the Holy Ghost and asks: "Hello, Smoky, here is a guy who says he is the Pope of Rome. Do you know him?"
"What does he mean, Rome, Massachusetts, or Rome, New York?"
"He says Rome, Italy."
"No, sorry, I’m afraid I do not know this guy." But then, after a very short while, he continues: "Wait, wait, tell me, is that the guy who invented the damn story about Mary and me?"
What do spiders and Black people have in common?
When they’re black, they kill you.
What do you call a cab for black men?
A cop car.
Why does Joe Biden call women muffins?
'Cause muffins backwards is sniffum.
Q: What's the difference between an apple tree and an orphan?
A: Apples get picked! 😱
Someone in my class yelled "Jenga!" while watching a documentary about the Twin Towers.
So I saw a bag full of children near a dumpster. I guess we know where the orphans are when the parents didn’t want them.
Wouldn’t want to hope a Catholic priest comes along, otherwise the priest will have new sex toys.
Shrek once went to the movies and when he sat down he felt this slimy and sticky feeling on the chair, so he stood up and complained about his chair being dirty... until he realized that he forgot to wipe earlier... so he stopped complaining and went back to his chair and sat back down.