Worst Jokes Ever
Your mom is like a penny: two-faced, flat, and always in someone's pants.
Hey, what is the difference between a painting and a wife?
Only the wife was hung up.
What is a Mexican person's favorite sport?
Cross country.
What do ghosts put on their bagels 🥯?
Scream Cheese 😱.
So, I was sitting with my little brother and talking about our dreams. "What do you wanna be when you grow up?" I asked him. He answered, "A doctor!" I wanted to tease him so I said, "I wouldn't be treated by a doctor like you." I was hoping he would get mad or something, but instead, he calmly replied, "Brother, I said doctor. Not a vet."
How is abortion different from rape? Babies never consent to it.
Why is the Leaning Tower of Pisa leaning? Because it had better reflexes than the Twin Towers.
What do you call Stephen Hawking in a burning building?
Hot Wheels.
Bro, tampons look like sperms, and they go up your coochie.
Never break a girl's/boy's/someone's heart. They only have one of them.
Break their bones instead. They have 206 of them.
My dad went to go get milk. He came back 7 years later, and we had to send him back because he got the wrong milk.
Why did little Susie fall off the swing?
Because she has no arms or legs.
Knock knock.
"Who's there?"
Not Susie.
Do y'all know the saying "Hang in there?" Well, fuck that, because I might as well be hanging myself.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Jets versus towers, USA lost two.
What is boring? Talking about boring things.
A woman has been raped by a man. She calls the police, and a policeman shows up.
Woman: "Please help, officer! I have been raped!"
Officer: "No problem, ma'am, I will just unrape you."
Woman: "What? Unrape me? How?"
Officer proceeds to bring back the rapist and forces the woman to rape the rapist back in order to cancel out the initial rape.
Priest
Australian says to American: why do you have such bad gun laws?
American: Self defense.
Australian: Self defense against 50 innocent children?
What do you call a group of white people running down a hill?
An avalanche.
What do you call a German man who can't see?
A not see.