Worst Jokes Ever
Imagine failing to commit suicide; you might as well go kill yourself.
Me telling a depression and suicide joke in front of my friends.
My friends: ........ Oh wait, I don't have any, so nothing to worry about here.
What do you call a depressed person?
Me.
What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? -- The wheelchair.
Billy: "I'm so used to having you in bed with me, I don't know if I'm ready for this long-distance relationship."
Sally: "Ohh, don't worry brother, I'll just be right down the hall..."
I saw a man trying to rape a girl. I decided to help. She didn't stand a chance against both of us.
The lice in your head are starting to concern over deforestation.
There are so many things going through my head. Sadly, none of it is a 9mm.
Why can't Indians play football? Because every time they take a corner, they make a shop.
Dark humor is like a home; not everyone gets it.
Quiet kid: "I'm home!"
Parents: "What did you learn at school today?"
Quiet kid: "I've learned that I've had enough!"
I'm trying to come up with a set-up for an amputee joke, but I'm stumped.
What kind of star would go to jail?
A shooting star!
While an unsuspecting father's at the office making money, this 18 year old son will spend his day in mother's cunny.
We're at the breakfast table, father eats and takes his calls, he doesn't know my mother's toes are kneading at my balls.
So Steven Hawking walks into a bar...
Oh, wait.
What do you call an emo kid's suicide live stream?
America's funniest home videos.
Friend: Want to play Fall Guys?
Friend 2: Yup.
Friend: Ok, so let me ju- wait, where are you going?
Friend 2: I'm gonna jump off.
Friend: Why?
Friend 2: We are playing Fall Guys, right?
Have you heard about the pedophile who was found guilty of robbery?
- He robbed children of their innocence.
Want to know how you make any salad into a caesar salad? Stab it twenty-three times.
What’s the difference between emos and Hitler?
Hitler didn’t post on social media when he wanted to kill himself.