Worst Jokes Ever
Anyone got any good Floyd jokes? I really need them to take my breath away.
In light of Trump's slurring, staggering, and incoherence, I wondered if he should get checked for a brain tumor.
Then I realized how ridiculous that sounded.
A tumor can't grow in something that doesn't exist in the first place.
They'll never do reverse cowgirl because you never turn your back on family.
How do you get a depressed person out of a tree?
You cut the rope...
I am a failure to everyone and decided to attempt a suicide, guess what? I failed.
What type of flour do you buy an orphan? Self-raising.
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into the school fire and said, "Hot wheels."
Your hairline is so far back I learned about it in history class.
Tried to kill myself today using a bungee cord, I kept ALMOST dying.
The Sunday school teacher is a little concerned that his kids might be a little confused about Jesus, so he asks his class, “Where is Jesus today?”
Little Suzy replies, “He’s in heaven.”
Little Mary replies, “He’s in my heart.”
Little Johnny says, “He’s in the bathroom!”
The teacher says, “How do you know this?”
Then little Johnny says, “Well, every morning my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door, and yells, “Jesus Christ are you still in there!?””
My girlfriend broke up with me because I stole her wheelchair.
But I knew she'd come crawling back to me.
Why did the orphan become a prostitute? They wanted someone to call "daddy."
My mom told me to take out the trash, but I couldn't find you.
My family is like treasure. You need a shovel and a map to find them.
Stephen Hawking's death was purely accidental. He clicked “shut-down” instead of “sleep”.
Yes, I'm CUTE.
C-ringe U-gly T-errible E-mpty.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said, "You know you wanna." Jill said yes and lifted her dress so they could have some fun, but stupid Jill forgot her pill and now they have a son.
If a person in a wheelchair runs you over, can you call it a "hit and can't run"?
What does a dad and the Twin Towers have in common? Once they're gone they never come back.
Teacher: Who here has thought about committing suicide?
Half of the class: *raises hand*
Teacher: ...
The half of the class: *Starts talking about how they were thinking of doing it*