Worst Jokes Ever
I have a friend whose birthday is on September 11th.
They're going to have an explosive party that will definitely blow you away!
It's gonna be the bomb, and a blast, too!
Why can’t Michael Jackson win a race?
Because he’s always coming in a lil’ behind.
Sans Undertale.
What did the orphan's friend give him for his birthday?
Lego, so he can build a home.
Why do lions 🦁 go to SUBWAY 🥪?
Because they like to EAT FLESH.
Where did Johnny go after he wandered into a minefield?
Everywhere.
I remember when I was at a funeral at the age of 6. I was with my grandma and asked, "Grandma, Grandma, why is that man in a box?"
And she says, "He's in a better place now." I look at her confused and ask, "What kind of box did he live in before?! How is this box better than the last one?! It's just a box!"
And to this day I am still not allowed to go to funerals.
Sister: (moaning) Go get Mom, she'd love this!
Me: But Billy's with her right now.
Billy: UGHHHH...MMMMM
Dad: Hurry up Billy, I want to see you for a moment.
Somebody stole my joke.
So I stole their spinal cord.
In British chess I guess they play without a queen...
But in American chess they play without 2 towers.
Q: Why can't orphans be gay?
A: They have no one to call "daddy."
What's another name for an Incel? A feminist.
My dad went to go buy milk, but he walks as slow as my grandmother.
My grandmother is paralyzed in the legs.
What is an orphan's excuse to leave a party?
"I'm gonna make like my parents and run."
Why did the orphan cry when the teacher yelled at him?
Because the teacher said, "Don't make me call your parents!"
Two hunters are in the woods and one falls to the ground.
Terrified, he dials 911 and says, “Help! I think my friend is dying. What do I do?” The nurse says, “I need you to make sure he’s dead.” The hunter replies, “Ok, I’ll be right back.” The nurse is startled after hearing a gunshot. The hunter comes back and says, “I checked. Now what do I do?” The nurse replies, “I need you to make sure his heart has completely stopped.” She is startled when she hears the sound of a taser. The hunter comes back and says, “What’s next?” The nurse replies, “I need you to make sure his brain has completely shut down.” The nurse is once again startled when she hears the sound of a bone being crushed by what seemed to be a hammer. The hunter comes back and asks, “Anything else?” The nurse says, “Nope. That’s it.”
What do you call a winter time contact?
A Santa Claus.
Two simple steps to get 15,000 people to follow you:
Step 1: Buy a bottle of water (doesn't matter the size).
Step 2: Run through Africa with that bottle of water.
Perfect! Now you got yourself half the population there following you!
I made a website for orphans. It doesn’t have a home page.
What’s the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body? I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.
What is the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman? One is a superhero and the other is a simple command.
Before Jane, was Tarzan clapping gorilla cheeks?