Worst Jokes Ever

Bored?

Burn an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

Yo mama's so poor, she can't even afford to pay attention.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

Depends on how hard you throw it.

Can orphans eat in a family restaurant?

So I was on a Discord call the other day, and one of my friends, an American buddy, joined, and we had a conversation.

Until they said: "When did pounds change to quid?"

And I said: "They're the exact same thing."

Then they said: "But when did it happen?"

So I said: "When did school change to shooting range?"

Mom: That's why your dad left you.

Me: Why?

Mom: I mean look at you, depressed, suicidal, and unhappy, always anxious, and other mental health issues.

Me: How is that my fault? You are a rude mom!

Mom: Your dad had a heart attack two weeks before you were born, because you are ugly!

(This actually did happen in real life.)

What do you call an orphan home alone?

A family reunion.

Bob: Hey bud, remember we're going to space!

Carol: Really? I forgot to planet.

Why aren't women taken seriously in the world? They are too busy whining about getting raped.

What do you call a woodpecker with no beak? A headbanger.

Hoes be like, "I've been through a lot."

No, a lot's been through you.

At school, this gurl was like, "You're ugly!" And I'm like, "Gurl, your mirror cracks the moment you step in front of it."

Lately, I’ve been wearing sunglasses when I have sex.

So I don’t get pepper sprayed.

Why don’t Chinese people model? Because it would look like the same model every time.

I bought an orphan iPhone 8 Plus and he said he doesn't want it 'cause it didn't have a HOME button.

Crimes in 2018: assault, murder.

Crimes in 2020: coughing in public.

Why were 9/11 victims so mad?

They ordered three pepperoni pizzas, not two planes!

Q: What does an orphan call a selfie of themself?

A: A family portrait.

Wanna hear a poop joke?

Nah, they always stink.

I have a really good construction joke.

But I'm still working on it.