Worst Jokes Ever
What do you give a dog with a fever?
Mustard, it's the best thing for a hot dog!
What do you call a food fight that's been going on for years?
A war of nutrition.
A chemical store burned down, and the firefighter just stood there, but at the end, the store fire just went out by itself. But the store owner still got angry.
Store owner: Why didn't you take out the fire?
Firefighter: Yeah, but it went out by itself.
Store owner: But still, why?
Firefighter: Your chemical store sells H20.
Store owner: Oh, I get it now!
My friend said she was tired of seeing me every day.
So I pushed her off the side of a cliff.
What did the fork say to the cake when he said, "I hope you get eaten?"
Fork off!
So a mom went to her kid and said, "If you pray to God, He will give you your sight back." So he did exactly that.
The next morning, the mom heard a scream, so she went to the kid's room and asked, "What's wrong?" The kid replied, "It didn't work!" The mom said, "April Fools!"
"Gwen, this was a fake look in the comments!"
What’s blue and comes in brownies?
Cub Scouts.
Mommy, mommy, why do I keep running around in circles?
Shut up, or I'll nail your other foot to the floor!
Why didn't the teddy bear go to the gym?
Because he didn't want to get ripped.
Stephen Hawking is the real Slim Shady... but he can’t stand up ☹️
Good Morning, Everyone! Have an amazing day!
What's the difference between an orphan and a watermelon?
One's fun to hang to with a sledge hammer, the other is just a watermelon.
What’s an orphan's favorite movie?
Home Alone.
What is black, white, and red all over? An interracial abort!
When you hide in the girl's bathroom so the school shooter won't go in there: 😃
When you notice that the school shooter is female: 😟
A sister went to her brother's room and says,
"I'm scared, can I sleep with you?"
"Yes, sis."
"What is this?" (pointing at his dick)
"My pet snake."
"Can I pet it?"
"Yes."
He wakes up in a hospital.
"What happened?"
"Your snake spit on me, so I bit his head off."
"You dummy!"
"Whaaat?"
Me and my wife love playing table tennis. I couldn’t win all day, but when it got dark, I managed to beat her. I don’t know how the police found out so quickly.
Yo mama so fat, she the ice burg.
So, Stephen Hawking walked into a bar—oh, wait a minute! Rewind!
So, Stephen Hawking rolled into a bar......