So, my sister is a feminist. I asked her, "Do you want to hear a rape joke?" She said no. I still decided to force one down her throat anyway.
Worst Jokes Ever
A blonde texts her husband on a cold winter’s morning: "Windows frozen, won't open."
Husband texts back: "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it and gently tap edges with hammer."
Wife texts back 5 minutes later: "Computer really messed up now."
When an emo kid jumps out of a tree, what happens when he hits the ground?
Nothin' much, he just flops over an hour later when they untie the rope.
One man's pet is another man's dinner.
What does BLM stand for?
Bisexual Lives Matter.
So I ran into a woman the other day who says her vaginas is like a lottery ticket. She said it's because you have to be lucky to hit it... I thought it's because she was always scratching it.
It's not rape if you're both crying.
Where do suicide bombers go?... Everywhere.
What's worse than depression & suicide?
Easy: LIVING. Everyday you wish you were dead but then reality hits you in the face that you're still alive and have to suffer living.
Pretend or not pretend, we have to decide everyday even if we don't pretend no one will notice :) no one ever does :). Living is the problem to everything. We get depression cuz of it and so much. Why can't we just die :)?
Why did Yoda go to jail for rape?
He doesn't get consent; he just uses the force.
Do your buses run on time?
No, they run on diesel.
How can you tell if a heterosexual man has been using the computer?
There is sperm on the computer screen.
Rape is such an ugly word, I prefer the term "struggle snuggle."
How do you blindfold an Asian?
With dental floss.
I know a good airplane joke, but it would probably go over your heads.
The twin towers: No, it won't.
2020 was the first time Kobe had passed in years.
Kid: Dad, what is it like to be drunk?
Dad: You see those two trees over there? If you were drunk, you would see four.
Kid: Dad, there is only one tree.
Q. What gets longer if pulled, fits snugly between breasts, slides neatly into a hole, chokes people when used incorrectly, and works well when jerked?
A. A seatbelt.
I cried when my dad cut up onions. Onions was a good dog.
Why did the orphan commit suicide?
So he could find home.