Worst Jokes Ever
What should I write a joke about? Name the subject, and I’ll make a joke about it.
If someone's debating the speed of light and a drunk Russian, the Russian would take speed to grab a falling wallet.
Hi... I'm depressed.
Yo mama's so fat, if she buys a fur coat, a whole species will become extinct.
You're so bald, I can see what's on your mind.
You're so bald, when you wear a turtleneck, you look like roll-on deodorant!
You're so bald, I rub your head to see into the future.
You're so bald, the Hair Club for Men has elected you president.
What do a Rubik's cube and a dick have in common? The more you play with them, the harder they get.
What do your underwear and the Starship Enterprise have in common?
They are both concerned about “Klingons near your anus”.
Why'd the rubber go flying across the room?
Because it got pissed off!
Every Dorito bag for orphans is family sized.
Alright, so I have a few orphan jokes. I'm gonna put them all in one message.
Why can't orphans be gay? They have no one to call "daddy."
Why can't orphans go on a field trip? Parent signature: ______
New teacher: I used to be an orphan as a kid. Students: hahaha Teacher: Is anyone missing? Students: No one, just your parents.
Why did the orphan become a prostitute? They kept calling everyone "daddy."
Why do orphans have the iPhoneX? Because it has no home button.
"Gwen, I want my boyfriend back!"
My wife slept with another man and got pregnant. She told me 9 weeks later. I said it's ok and told her let's talk downstairs, so I pushed her down the stairs.
Gwen just wanted to help you with the bullying.
Tip 1. Ignore them; bullies are really just cowards.
Tip 2. Stand up for yourself; it's ok for people to also help you, but you do the same for yourself!
Tip 3. Just let them be; they're just stupid!
Love you-Iariah
What do a pregnant 14-year-old and the fetus inside of her have in common?
They both are thinking, "Shit! Mom is gonna kill me!"
What do you call two Mexicans playing 1v1 basketball?
One on one! Just think about it. It makes sense.
My wife told me to pass her some chapstick, but then I realized she hasn’t talked to me in a month, then remembering I gave her super glue.........ehh I’m done with her big ass mouth.
What happens when you kick a boy in the balls?
THEY NUTS ARE IN PAIN.