Who is the fastest reader? The 9/11 victims, because they went through 20 stories.
Worst Jokes Ever
Read my name. 👍🇮🇪
What's the difference between a baby and a cooked chicken?
Several hundred calories.
Why are there adoption centers? Because it's a market for pedophiles.
Hi, this is not a joke. Please like, or I will be verrrrrrry sad! -_-
If Tim goes to heaven and Tom goes to hell, where does Tam go?
Up your ass.
I'd tell a Luigi joke, but it would fall flat faster than the line on his victim's heart monitor.
You know what a triangle has that women's rights don't? A point.
Like if you are gay.
Like if you're short.
I like Fortnite.
A man walks into the library. “Hello ma’am, I’d like to borrow a book about committing suicide.” The librarian replies, “No, you won’t give it back.”
I know what I want to be for Halloween! A pumpkin! I'm very good at carving into myself, after all.
I woke up this morning thinking it was gonna be a great day. But then I realized I was still alive.
Teacher: Now class, if you are dumb, please stand up. Class: *no one stands up* Teacher: Oh c'mon. I know someone over here is dumb. *waves her finger around the left side of the room* Little Johnny: *stands up* Teacher: Oh, Johnny, you think you're dumb? Little Johnny: No, I just feel bad you're standing alone.
The other day, me and my friend were at the shops buying crafts. I was wearing a black top; she was wearing a stripy top. We were arguing about who was more creative when she asked me to prove that I am. I just said, "You buy your stripes, I make mine."
I told my dad I was self harming. The next day we talked about it and he said, "Hey you should CUT it out." It was funny but I couldn't bring myself to laugh at that.
How do you get your grass to cut itself?
Make it depressed.
Son: Dad? Why is mommy no longer with us?
Dad: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Son: Why?
Dad: To get to the other side, but your mother only made it about halfway.
What turns red, blue then white? The last person that I'd strangle.