Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun? Special forces.
You know you're fucked when the speed bump screams.
Which way is quicker to die? Noose or slitting my throat?
So, one day I have a wife, but if it's getting a longer day, she is moving so weird, and I see she has sex with Rick Astley. 😂 [rickrolled]
Why did the actor fall through the floorboards?
They were going through a stage!
I saw your forehead and realized your mom and dad's foreheads were as big as yours. Also, you're gay.
Germany is the best!
I dumped the dead, disabled person's body into a dumpster full of rats.
Today I went to get a sub, and they asked me if I wanted all vegetables. I said no, leave some for the rest of the customers.
Uranus craps diamonds and is a cow 🐮.
I heard that Uranus is pronounced "yuuranus," but it reminded me of urine! 😆
If this pops up on your timeline, fuck you!
Two natives sit in the bar getting shit-faced.
Almost closing time, "Brother, you gonna snag?"
"Yeah, I'm taking her home."
He walks over, she gathers her things. Walking out together, he takes her to his car outback. They stay messing around then start having sex. He starts to get carried away. He looks down at her. She looks up at him and says, "Slow down, cousin, you're going too fast..."
Me: "Gift a homeless kid iPhone 7."
The kid: But it has no home button.
Me: Exactly. 💀
Suck my cheetah.
What do you call one orphan taking a photo?
A family photo.
Why did Jesus come back from the dead? He forgot to tell you that you're gay!
What's the best thing about stage 4 cancer?
There's no stage 5.
A man assaulted me with milk, cheese, and butter.
How dairy!
What do you call a squad of emo kids?
Suicide Squad.