Worst Jokes Ever
My penis is so polite. It stands up so girls can sit down.
Bro, they almost forgot you in the abortion bucket.
Which way is quicker to die? Noose or slitting my throat?
[concert] SINGER: How's everyone doin' tonight? CROWD: Woo! ME (from the back in a normal speaking voice): It's actually been a tough few months.
That chromosome gon' leave just like your hairline. 😗😮😮
You're so goddamn stupid, you thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.
Why do people play soccer?
Because people need to kick harder to win a parent.
I caught the flowers at a wedding--now married to a hot guy. But then I caught an STD at a funeral, I kinda nervo.........
So, one day I have a wife, but if it's getting a longer day, she is moving so weird, and I see she has sex with Rick Astley. 😂 [rickrolled]
Why did the actor fall through the floorboards?
They were going through a stage!
Why is Peter Pan always flying?
Because he Neverlands! (I love this joke because it never grows old.)
Germany is the best!
My uncle died on 9/11. Her last words were "Allahu Akbar."
When you went to an ugly competition, the judges said, "No professionals allowed."
Why does a kid in a wheelchair get bullied? Because he can’t stand up for himself.
For so long, I thought I was a Gemini, apparently I'm Cancer!
What did Africa say to the grass? Get off me!
Man, I am jealous of the victims of 9/11. They are the fastest readers, who went through 87 stories in 8 seconds.
If this pops up on your timeline, fuck you!
Two natives sit in the bar getting shit-faced.
Almost closing time, "Brother, you gonna snag?"
"Yeah, I'm taking her home."
He walks over, she gathers her things. Walking out together, he takes her to his car outback. They stay messing around then start having sex. He starts to get carried away. He looks down at her. She looks up at him and says, "Slow down, cousin, you're going too fast..."