Worst Jokes Ever

Why can’t orphans play baseball?

They can never find home.

How do you fit a whale inside a car? A blender.

What is cats and dogs' favorite story and movie?

"Romeow and Drooliet!"

Why can’t orphans play baseball?

'Cause there is no home to run to.

Why couldn't the orphan go into the restaurant?

It was family friendly.

Why did the butt smell so bad? Because he didn’t have a nose! AND HE FARTED TOO!

I thought I told you to lock up when I left this morning. This is why our shit gets stolen all the time!

I watch gay porn.

A dwarf walks into a bar.

He asks for a shot of whiskey. The bartender gives him the 🥃, and it turns into a gallon of whiskey. The bartender sees this and takes it back, and it turns back into a shot of whiskey.

Burger King got Dairy Queen pregnant during sex, cause he forgot to wrap his Whopper.

Why did the koala cross the road?

To get to the big tree.

How can you tell when your sister is on her period?

Your dad's knob tastes funny.

How did the skeleton know it was going to rain? He read the weather forecast, you fucking idiot!

What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?

The apple gets picked.

Trump should be grateful for DEI.

How else could a mentally handicapped person be elected President?

Q. What did the United Healthcare CEO say after he got shot? A. I don't know. I don't own a Ouija board.

How many East Asians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Tu.

If a lawyer gives birth to a stillborn baby, is it considered a miscarriage of justice?

I locked Terri Schiavo in the freezer.

Hey, I thought that's where you were supposed to put vegetables!

“Life is going swimmingly,”

“Tell that to Whitney Houston.”