Worst Jokes Ever
Three kids one day found a magic slide. There was a sign next to it that said, "Slide down and your wish will come true." The first kid slid down and wished for a chocolate river. He landed in a chocolate river.
When the 2nd kid slid down he wished for a bunch of money. He landed in a pile of money.
Finally, the 3rd kid slid down, and he said, "WEEEE!!!!!!"
Why is an elephant big, grey, and hairy?
Yo mama so ugly, when she go to church they say it's a demon!
Did you know emo kids are the highest jumpers in the world? Some are still up there!
Why couldn't an eagle do a barrel roll? It's oblivious, it's il-eagle.
Two gays are getting ready for Christmas... They are expecting a big package in the mail!
What's the difference between a golfer and a fisherman? A fisherman has to bring proof back.
Hey, talk to me here!
Where's your mom?
In the bin.
How do you surprise a blind guy?
Say, "Surprise!"
How did the nut study for its test?
It used the inter-nut.
Where do squirrels go for fun?
The acorn-ival.
I want an almond-flavored biscuit.
I want an almond-flavored biscuit. Amaretti? You bet I am!
I’d tell you a secret about peanut butter, but you might spread it.
I love almond milk. It’s unlike any udder milk.
Cashew, see, I'm nuts about you!?
For our anniversary, I gave my girlfriend a picture of me inside a pistachio.
But that’s just me in a nutshell.
People are like trees. They fall when you hit them multiple times with an axe.
A doctor walks into his office and looks his patient in the eyes, "Sir, you have to stop jerking off."
The man asks, "Why?"
The doctor then says, "Because I'm trying to examine you."