Worst Jokes Ever
Last week I felt so high and mighty I thought I could fly. I took one shot, puffed through my pipe, and jumped in the air on a trampoline. I woke up in heaven.
I asked an angel, "How did I die?"
"Well, little monkey, you thought your bed was a trampoline and you hit your head. Your mom called the doctor, and the doctor said you were dead."
George Floyd is the fresh prince of no air
How do you scare a lot of people in New York?
Open a mobile hotspot named "Delta Inflight Wifi."
My friend was in Afghanistan when he saw someone got shot, and then they bombed him. Now he called them the "Talkwakers."
If you’re American when you go in the bathroom...
... and American when you come out, what are you in the bathroom?
European.
Puss.
If Bruce Willis (the guy in the Christmas movie Die Hard) dies of a Viagra overdose, would that mean he truly dies hard?
What do a 100-year-old pornstar and The White Stripes have in common? Icky Thump!
What should I sell my dragon for?
Dragon these balls across yo face!
Your hairline is so discombobulated, it looks like a geometrical shape.
Your hairline is so hideous that Derrick White's hairline envies yours.
Why did your daddy not come back with the milk?
Because you have no dad because your dad never loved you.
If you can't stand the heat, sit!
What do you call a Gary Dinosaur?
A mega-sore-ass.
"Water exists."
Airport security: "What the fuck did you just say?"
What do you say to an emo's wrist?...
"I like ur cut G."
Teacher told me to turn in my essay, but I ain't no snitch, fool.
I was going to make alligator last night, but I noticed I only have a crockpot. 🤣
Why do orphans become criminals?
To feel what it is like to be wanted.
Why are natives called redskins? Idk, ask the pilgrims 😂