Worst Jokes Ever

Floor on the road?

Hi how are you?

I found a key that works for every door at my school.

Ok ok ok so 7 ate 9, but why was 10 scared? Because it was in the middle of 9/11.

Anthony Blinken's life sucks, and getting COVID-19 positive is the only positive thing that ever happened in his entire life!

Q. What is Terri Schiavo's favorite Eminem song?

A. "Till I Collapse."

What do you call a questioning Constanta?

Curious George.

Me and my friend roasting each other.

Him: Your dad dropped you on purpose, but my dad dropped me by accident.

Me: But after dropping you, he never picked you up.

What is an emo's favorite game?

To delete Cut the Rope.

What's the same with your dad and Retail Row?

They are both off the map.

What does an orphan and a dog have in common?

Both got taken from their parents.

I caught my wife cheating on me.

I beat my son and grounded him.

I couldn’t figure out why the football kept getting bigger... then it hit me!

What's an orphan's favorite toy?

A boomerang because it actually came back.

"Confucius say, man who has mosquito on balls truly understands nonviolence."

Why couldn't the surfer hang 10?

Because he forgot his feats!

What do a brand new house, me, and new jewelry box have in common?

We're all empty on the inside.

So, a husband and a wife have three kids. The husband is on his death bed, and he looks up at his wife and says, "Honey, is our youngest son truly and honestly mine?" She says in response, "I swear on everything that is good and holy, our youngest son is yours." He dies peacefully.

Then she says under her breath, "I'm glad he didn't ask about the first two."

I asked my mom what her biggest regret was for a project at school, and she said, "Oh, go look in the bathroom above the sink..." There was a mirror.

Why can't orphans be gay?

Because they don't have anyone to call "Daddy."