Worst Jokes Ever
My mom once ate a full giant cheesecake, and we were walking to our flight back home, and she had to sh*t.
We were walking to the bathroom, and she full on [did it] in front of the carousel. She had a lump of poo in her pants... True story, haha!
What do Shrek and onions have in common?
*LAYERS*
Statue of Liberty ain't even American, that b*tch is French!
What do you call a scared cow?
A COW-ard.
I asked a man if I was the fastest gun in the west. He said my 17 wasn't good enough. After that, a lot of lead went into his head.
I was digging outside and I found my child's old toy, so I ran to find him, but I could not find him, so I was searching for about 6 hours, but then I remembered why I was digging......
Women are like blackjack. I’m trying for 21, but I always hit on 9.
I don't need a girlfriend, 'cause I got my cousin, bro.
Why is basketball called basketball?
Because you play with a basket.
What company do orphans hate the most?
S. C. Johnson, a family company.
What do a brand new house, me, and new jewelry box have in common?
We're all empty on the inside.
When the ugliest cat looked at you, then you search up the ugliest thing in the world, you show up.
How do you call an autistic kid with a pistol?
Special forces.
What do you call a blind kid with an eye patch and no arms?
Names.
If your nose runs and your feet smell, you are probably built upside down.
Two air vents walked into a bar.
The third one ducted.
Dulux have created a new type of paint. It's called "Sue Grey." It covers up everything.
Are there support groups for men?
I wish I knew life, but my dad said it was a mistake to begin with.
What makes laissez-faire and a gangbang the same?
Not my problem.