Why did the rapper wear a watch to the studio?
He wanted to make TIMELESS TRACKS.
Worst Jokes Ever
You're so bald that Disney uses your head for movie scripts.
What's the difference between MH370 and my dad?
Both disappeared, but one killed 239 people.
What’s the hardest part about being a PEDO?
Fitting in.
Woman: I want a man who is 6 feet and 6 inches.
Man: Is 6 feet and 6 inches one thing or two?
Woman: Two, I want a man who is 6 feet and also is 6 inches.
Man: Shit!
An ugly, poor teenage girl found a genie lamp in her backyard. The genie said, "I will grant you 3 wishes, but under 1 condition."
"What is it?" she asked.
"After I grant your final wish, you have to have sex with me," the genie replied.
"Okay, for my 1st wish, I wish to be the prettiest girl at my school," the genie snapped his fingers and made her pretty.
"For my 2nd wish, I wish for my family to be rich," the genie snapped his fingers and told her her family is now the richest in town.
"And your final wish?" the genie asked.
"I wish I had a sabertoothed vagina."
What does a depressed kid who loves geometry use to kill themself?
A hypoteNUSE!
Why did the rapper bring a dictionary to the party?
To drop some WORDPLAY!
Why did the rapper become a chef?
Because he knew how to cook up FRESH BEETS!
Quote from Seth no.1: "I would have fought back, but she was seven."
McDonald's worker be like, "Hello, would you like a Mc-Dick?" (You looked down) You: "Uhh, where's my dick?"
Sometimes I think back on all the people I’ve lost and remember why I stopped being a tour guide.
Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.
You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
I’ll never forget my father’s last words to me just before he died: “Are you sure you fixed the brakes?”
What do you call it when Panera Bread goes to space?
Good question.
What do you call it when someone lies to Panera Bread?
Panera misled.
Your hairline retreats from your face just like all the guys that look at you.
Are you bisexual...
Or are you hellosexual?
I would tell a 9/11 joke, but it would probably go up in flames.
I can’t take my dog to the park anymore.
Why?
The ducks keep trying to eat him.
Why would they do that?
Because he’s pure-bread.
We aren't ghosts, but I'll take you under the sheets.
What’s a rapper’s favorite martial art?
Punchlines.