Worst Jokes Ever
My girlfriend left me today for spending my own money. What a bitch! I spend a fair amount of money on her for her clothes and Air Force Ones, but as soon as I spend $100 on hookers, she leaves me.
I walk into a bar. There was a line of people waiting to punch me. Yup. That was the punch line.
What's the difference between economy and Vietnamese?
Economy doesn't work.
My wife and I were out to dinner and the waitress started flirting with me.
"She obviously has COVID," my wife said.
"Why?" I asked.
My wife replied with a sneer, "Because she has no taste!"
What does the Catholic Church and Worstjokesever.com have in common?
They're both full of child groomers.
What do guns and gum have in common?
When you pull one out, everyone wants to be your friend.
Your mama so fat, the scale said, "Only one person at a time, please!"
What is a necrophile's least favorite game?
The Walking Dead.
According to a recent poll, your mother said, "I like the guy who saw the guy who doesn't have a brain!"
A blonde drops off her dress to the dry cleaners.
“Come again!” says the woman behind the desk.
“No, it’s curry this time.”
Your friend is so fat, when he took the group pic, he was the background.
Me: What's the fifth month of the year?
Friend: May.
Me: May deez nuts fit in your mouth?
Me: How do cowboys say hello?
Friend: Howdy.
Me: How do deez nuts fit in your mouth?
Some of you need to go to church. I don't want you in hell with me.
The doctor said I had two years to live, so I shot him. The warden gave me 50. Problem solved!
I have always been scared of stairs; they're always up to something.
A man walks into a doctor's office, naked and wrapped in Glad Wrap.
The doctor replies with: "I can clearly see your nuts."
An emo tried to high-five a tree.
It left him hanging.
Knock knock. Who’s there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting c– MOO!
Your mom is so fat that when she saw Moby Dick, she said, "We are family... even though you're bigger than me."