Worst Jokes Ever

You have been accused of stealing toilet rolls. How do you plead?

Guilty or not guilty?

Pineapple turnover.

A few days ago, I phoned up the spiritual leader of Tibet, and he sent me a large goat with a long neck. Turns out I phoned Dial-a-Llama.

I find it difficult to count to ten in French: un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq, six, sept.

I can't say the next one because I have a "huit" allergy.

It's tricky when you're both a moth and a sea captain in charge of a ship, but up ahead, you see a lighthouse.

Overall, I'd say my career as a photographer has been a bit of a blur.

I went out to buy some camouflage shirts the other day. Couldn't find any.

I was at a concert in the front row, and I shouted something to the band's guitarist. He took it the wrong way and responded: "I'm going to go down there and hit you with my guitar!"

And I replied: "Is that a death fret?"

A Chelsea fan called Timo Werner on his phone to encourage him during his bad form. Timo Werner still missed all the calls.

What does a nosy pepper do? Gets JALAPEÑO BUSINESS!

What happens when you hear about Mary Brittain beating a Thomas?

You cook spaghetti with his blood!

How do bees get to school?

They go on a school buzz.

Why do orphans like going to church?

Because they actually get to say "father" for once.

Jokes are like food, not everyone has it.

What's an orphan's least favorite day? Take your kid to work day.

You’re so short you would need a lift to kiss your bride.

Bf: Babe, do you love me?

Gf: Of course, why do you ask?

Bf: I heard that your mom passed away, and I went to pick some roses for you to try to cheer you up, and then I remembered why I went to the garden.

What did one bee say to the other bee?

"I love you, honey!"

Why do you let your dads sleep so they don't get grumpy and eat your dinner?

Why are all fat people bad drivers?

They are all hungover.