Worst Jokes Ever
Did you hear about the blonde who walked into a bar?......... It hurt.
What does the Catholic Church and Worstjokesever.com have in common?
They're both full of child groomers.
What do guns and gum have in common?
When you pull one out, everyone wants to be your friend.
Hi! Could I join?
"Float like a cracker, sting like a beaner!"
Me: "Cya"
Mom: "Where ya going?"
Me: "The orphanage to make yo mama jokes."
Mum: ...
When I dunk my cookies in milk, I think of you. I hold them down until the bubbles stop.
Quote of the day:
Just one small positive thought in the morning can change your whole day.
[Comment your favorite fall beverage!]
I wish my grass was emo because then it would cut itself.
"My friend and her boyfriend were kissing until she puts her tongue down his throat, and what happens next is really weird."
The tongue gets stuck in his throat and starts to guh-guh-gughhh trying to get her tongue out of his throat, but it cumssssss out with spit all over his tongue, then they break up because he didn't want that to happen ever again...:/
Name a nut. You because are nuts.
During Halloween, my friend went as a skeleton.
He refused to go into the haunted house. Looks like he was SPINE-LESS.
"Your mother has been with us for 20 years," said John. "Isn’t it time she got a place of her own?"
"My mother?" replied Helen. "I thought she was your mother."
Why don’t pirates take a shower before they walk the plank?
They just wash up on shore.
At a party, a young wife admonished her husband, "That's the fourth time you've gone back for ice cream and cake. Doesn't it embarrass you?"
"Why should it?" answered her spouse. "I keep telling them it's for you."
What's the difference between a dead body and a Lamborghini?
I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.
Where does a pencil go to vacation? Pennsylvania.
What do you call a suspicious dog?
A sussy bark-er.
Why is September 11th an awesome birthday to have?
Because no one forgets it! :)
When's the best day to get the chair? Fry-day.