Worst Jokes Ever
I told my friend you should definitely quit smoking, but he could not find me because he was already up in flames.
Last week I felt so high and mighty I thought I could fly. I took one shot, puffed through my pipe, and jumped in the air on a trampoline. I woke up in heaven.
I asked an angel, "How did I die?"
"Well, little monkey, you thought your bed was a trampoline and you hit your head. Your mom called the doctor, and the doctor said you were dead."
Spell "I cup."
I C U P
Should cishet people REALLY be watching Ranboo?
What do you get when you have a class of kids and a speeding car?
A 24 killstreak!
A man got pulled over, and the policeman had stepped out and said, "Do you know how fast you were going?"
The man said, "I was trying to catch up with the traffic."
The officer said, "There is no traffic."
The man said, "Exactly, that’s how far behind I am!"
Girls are like bacteria. The toxic ones are everywhere, and you have to take special care of the good ones.
Why did Jeffrey get blood on his shoe?
Because this teen just started her period!
Why do orphans not buy a keyboard? Because they can’t use the home button.
I wanted to play Fruit Ninja, but remembered I don’t have a phone. Guess I gotta draw fruit on my arm!
What do Americans call high school?
A shooting range.
"Left, center, right, and apolitical, also skeptical, are also a joke."
"Death to the west!"
Hope the towers are doing well this morning, and I'll get back to you!
I know you came here to feel good about yourself...
People are like trees. They fall when you hit them multiple times with an axe.
Q: What did the stop light say to the other stop light?
A: Stop looking, I’m changing!
A doctor walks into his office and looks his patient in the eyes, "Sir, you have to stop jerking off."
The man asks, "Why?"
The doctor then says, "Because I'm trying to examine you."
How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? If you woodchuck on the world with that, you have a really deep in, and he says goodbye. When he says goodbye, you're like, "if you."
My dogs pooped in my shoes? Pooper.