Worst Jokes Ever

What do you get when you cross a rapper with an accountant?

A money manager who counts bars.

Why did the rapper bring a map to the studio?

To find his way to the BEAT!

What did the rapper say to his broken refrigerator?

"Yo, chill!"

Why did the rapper bring a basketball to the concert?

To drop some SLAM DUNKS on the mic!

Why did the rapper bring a dictionary to the party?

To leave everyone SPEECHLESS!

Why did the rapper become a chef?

Because he knew how to cook up FRESH BEETS!

If LEO were a spice, she’d be flour... BLAND and FORGETTABLE!

Why did the rapper bring a ladder to the concert?

Because he wanted to reach new heights in his performance.

My screen lock is my favorite picture of my wife. When I'm on a 14-hour shift, being miserable, hating my life... I pull out my phone and gaze at the picture of my wife. Then I realize it's better here than at home with her ass.

Why was the rapper so good at math?

Because he knew how to count his bars!

You know what’s traumatizing?

Your mom breastfeeding in front of you.

Help!

You ever notice that the USA could be a part of Russia?

RUSSIA US A

You are like a software update. Whenever I see you, I immediately think, "Not now."

I was sitting in traffic the other day.

Probably why I got run over.

My friend said that gay people existed 10 years ago.

He can tell the future.

If you think of a president as your king, then the USA got checkmated on November 22nd, 1963.

You know what's the difference between my basement and Chick-fil-A?

A lot of things.

Q: Why was the Tower of Pisa leaning?

A: Because it had better reflexes than the Twin Towers.

What do you call a Mexican without a lawnmower?

Unemployed.

What is the Mexican's favorite sport?

Cross country, wall climbing, and their favorite activity in the summer is lawn mowing.