What's the difference between a McDonald's and the Twin Towers?
McDonald's has a drive-thru.
Worst Jokes Ever
Dark humor is like water: some people get it, and some people don't.
The orphan turned 18, but he was happy because he didn't have to pay rent to his parents.
I try and try every day, but 5 keep coming out. There's so money at this point my walls are built of babies.
Once there was this kid that wanted to shower with his dad, so his dad said yes. Then he asked, "What is that?" and his dad said it's a chow chow train.
The next day, he wanted to shower with his mom, so she said yes. He asked again, "What is that?" and she said it was a tunnel with light.
The same day, he wanted to sleep with them, and they said yes.
In the middle of the night, he woke up and told his mom to turn on the light because the chow chow train is going in.
I got fired from my job at the bank today.
An old lady came in and asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
I got $1,000,000 for my brother. Best trade I ever made!
"Love is a good thing, never be embarrassed by it."
Who can jump the highest?
Emos, some of them are still falling.
I got in trouble in school today. The teacher said, "I'm gonna call your parents!"
I said, "Let me know when you find them." <3
Chef: “How did you enjoy your steak, sir?”
Customer: “I asked for it medium rare, but it’s well done!”
Chef: “Why thank you.”
Customer: “You don’t understand, the steak is well done!”
Chef: “Of course it is, I made it.”
I am cool.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
What's blue and bad for your teeth?
A green brick that's painted blue after the original paint dries (it takes a little while to dry), but after it dries you can paint it and then it will be green. If the brick is green it is called a green brick as it is green (not blue anymore) and it hurts your teeth because brick is a hard material that can damage the bones in your mouth (also known as your teeth).
You and your sister always get into a fight and she says, "I don't care." Then you say right away, "About you!"
How do you make an emo mad at you?
Cut the rope.
Did you hear what happened to the Italian chef?
He pasta-way...
Why did the chicken cross the road?...
To get to the other side.
You have to be a good mom to be a MILF.
(Phone call) This is Frank's funeral home and grill, where yesterday's grief is today's beef. How may we help you?
