Worst Jokes Ever
My grandpa said this generation relies too much on tech, so I unplugged his life support.
What do you call a shadow?
Tyrone, don’t be a coon!
God needed an extra two hands to make your fat ass of a mother.
I was reading a great book about an immortal dog the other day.
It was impossible to put down.
I threw a paper airplane at the twin sisters. The teacher was upset. I guess they don't read the news.
If you were a room in my house, I’d make you the basement.
So I could put kids inside you.
Reverend Mother walks into the convent and announces:
"Sisters, our carrots have been delivered!"
Nuns exclaim: "Hurray! Carrots!"
Reverend Mother: "They are grated carrots, though."
Nuns: "Ugh! No, thank you then..."
How do you get a koala to die? Kill it.
What’s the difference between a Catholic and a rabbit?
One has kids to protect from predators, and the other has kids for predators.
Time flies by, doesn’t it?
But the plane in 9/11 didn’t.
Police officers hope you’re a criminal.
Doctors hope you get sick.
Mechanics hope you get car troubles.
But only thieves wish you prosperity.
Weird?
Humor is like skin; the darker it gets, the less people like it.
I'd tell you a joke about pizza, but it was too cheesy.
What's the difference between three cocks and a joke?
Your mom can't take a joke.
Sometimes I think back on all the people I’ve lost and remember why I stopped being a tour guide.
Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.
You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
I’ll never forget my father’s last words to me just before he died: “Are you sure you fixed the brakes?”
What do you call it when Panera Bread goes to space?
Good question.
Why do women have two sets of lips?
I kiss both.
What did the duck do when he crossed the road?
The duck jumped into a pool of ant piles! 💀💀
Why was the rapper always calm during a storm?
Because he knew how to RIDE THE FLOW.
Why did the rapper go to school?
To improve his FLOW-CABULARY!