Worst Jokes Ever
Why do women love wind chimes?
They vibrate.
Knock knock. Who's there? It's the police... Who? It's the police, let me in so I can get some donuts!
My ex's dad died while she was texting me. She said she had a boyfriend, but I told her I had a dad.
Your hairline so far back, it's a wide receiver for the Minnesota Vikings.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I was born pretty, what happened to you?
My friend looks more red than Mr. Krabs.
It’s weird, I could’ve sworn I saw the silhouette of a belt hurling towards him the other day.
In Saudi Arabia, there lived a man named Abdul.
Abdul rhymes with Azul, the Spanish word for blue.
And he probably be lookin' more blue than me.
I just competed in a wrestling tournament. The first guy hit me harder than my dad’s belt.
Your mama's so young your dad went to jail.
Dad: Hey, uh... you're adopted.
Dog: *frown*
You're so fat, that you're fat.
The only doctor you have is Doctor Pepper.
*gets hit by a car*
Passerby: "ARE YOU OKAY?"
Me: "Please...I need my...phone."
*opens twitter*
Me: "LMFAOOOOOOO YALL GUESS WHAT"
How does a train sneeze?
It goes, "A-choo choo!"
Why can't Chinese people have white babies? Because two wrongs don't make a white.
If you mixed the Iraq wheat scandal with the basics card paying other people's dole to your wife and tumble dried it in a royal commission that made your priestly mates look bad, what would you get?
Tony Abbott's career.
What's the difference between 5% of priests and 5% of atheists?
5% of atheists have seen a ghost.
5% of priests have spooked altar boys in the sacristy.
What do you do if your dick is smoking?
Get your mum to lick it.
What do you call a priest that likes juice?
A Capriest Sun.
Your mum is so fat, all her relationships are long distance.