Told Jokes

I told a joke and some1 said "no one asked" then i said "no one would care to even ask"

Your hairline is so long when you finally found the length of your hairline you told it to some one and they said don’t give me your phone number

My girlfriend told me she used to be a Christian I ask her why she isn't anymore and she said she liked the name Christina better

My dad just found out and told my mom about one of their friends Chad just murdered his wife Claire and after doing that he turned the gun on himself and committed suicide right after My moms reply: Jesus Chad will do anything to get out of cleaning his mess won’t he

My parents told me I was born on the highway.

Aparently that’s where most accidents happen.

i told the emo girl to stop playing fruit ninja on her wrists

My mum told me to stop telling the suicidal jokes. I replied with: "Don't worry, suicide would be the last thing I'd do."

I just watched a 9/11 documentary on a plane Man next me said you know we’re going to New York right I told him I just wanna know what I got into

I told my new girlfriend that my mother is deaf...

So she would have to speak loudly and slowly.

I told my mother that my new girlfriend is disabled. Now we wait.

I told my friend that we should dress up as P. Diddy and Drake for Halloween and ask parents if their kid wants to come over for a sleepover

Somebody told me chemistry joke. I thought it was sodium funny, I slapped my neon that one.

I was studying in Turin and my professor told me I had to use PENS only. I looked in my bag for pens and they were GONE. I looked at the surveillance footage and saw that CRISTIANO PENALDO stole ALL MY PENS. I was fuming. Shame on you Penaldo!

I came home from school One day and told my cat a kid at school said I was an idiot and told me to go kick rocks so I did except I kicked him out him and I called him the idiot for not moving out of the way

People told Kobe to fly high look what happend

At the funeral of a family friend, I was chatting to June, an elderly lady I hadn’t seen since I was a teenager. I was thrilled when she told me what a beautiful young woman I’d become.

On the journey home, I remarked to my mother how lovely it had been to see June again.

“Yes, it’s such a shame that she’s gone blind,” she said sadly.

Some trans "woman" came up to me and told me to act my age so I told him to act his gender

My girlfriend told me to stop playing Pokemon as it was childish.

I started thrashing about and roared “You don’t have enough badges to control me!”

My friend just got a new house, he told me to make myself at home, so i threw him out. I hate visiters.