Once there was this kid that wanted to shower with his dad, so his dad said yes. Then he asked, "What is that?" and his dad said it's a chow chow train.
The next day, he wanted to shower with his mom, so she said yes. He asked again, "What is that?" and she said it was a tunnel with light.
The same day, he wanted to sleep with them, and they said yes.
In the middle of the night, he woke up and told his mom to turn on the light because the chow chow train is going in.
I threw a lamp at an emo kid and told him to lighten the f*ck up.
A wise man once told me: "If you poke the bear in prison, the bear will happily return the favor when it's time to shower."
"Your mum has very small balls. Congrats! I told her, your balls are bigger than your husband's."
Kidnapper: hey kid your parents told me to pick you up Kid: Sir this is an orphanage Kidnapper: ...
Can’t believe how ungrateful my dwarf next-door neighbor is. I saw him waiting at the bus stop earlier today and offered to give him a lift, but he told me to “fuck off.” In the end, I decided to just close my rucksack and walk away.
A blind woman told me I had a big penis yesterday.
I think she was pulling my leg.
What did the shoe tell the feet?
"Put me on your feet!"
Why did the students eat their homework
because the teacher told them it was a piece of cake
I told my wife to embrace her mistakes So she gave me a hug
I told the emo girl to stop playing fruit ninja on her wrists.
I told the emo girl that I bet she's jealous of the hanging lights in the gym.
My dad told me Santa was black, so instead of cookie and milk waiting for him when he came down the chimney, he got cornbread and purple kool-aid.
JFK tried meditating. He told everyone he is very open-minded.
Our teacher told us to write a story about the life of an object that's not alive, so I wrote a story about an emo kid.
I asked my boyfriend who his favorite motivational speaker was. He said Andrew Tate. I told him the BEST motivational speaker was Stephen Hawking.
Jimmy watched in horror as Alex told the suicidal man to do a flip.
Guy it was so weird yesterday I saw a guy and he kept repeating the same thing over and over I hate people with dementia I told my mom to get a new mirror but she she won’t listen to me it’s almost like I sand it like 20 times every time I say it
I was beefing with a dude in a wheelchair, so I took his wheelchair and threw it across the street and told him, "Walk it off, you will be fine."
I was at work and then a little kid came up to me and she said “what happened to all the parents?” She sounded so confused so i told her “its only yours kid, they left you on purpose” she cried i felt bad for a second and the thought oh well time to back to my job at the orphanage
