Toilet jokes
A: What's the difference between a toilet and a washing basin?
B: I don't know.
A: Then I guess your house looks beautiful...
B: ...
What is brown and smelly? Is it a fart? Is it a carcass? Wrong, it's a dirty toilet.
What did the poop say to the toilet paper? “You’re on a roll!”
What do you say when the toilet is clogged?
Oh shit!
Who do you ask to wipe you? Your butler!
*Breaking News!* - Apparently the first person in Melbourne has died because of the Coronavirus. In his house they found 1000 cans of food, 50 kilos of pasta, 80 kilos of rice, 300 toilet rolls and 50L of hand sanitiser which he had panic purchased from the supermarket and stockpiled "just in case".
The whole lot collapsed and buried him.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To poo in the toilet.
Your mama so fat when she sits on the toilet it sings, "ABC, 123, get your fat ass off of me!"
When the husband said "Is your ass so big?" she said "Because I am holding my shit."
Amber Heard morning schedule:
- Wake up - Eat breakfast - Take a shit - Get out of bed - Shower
How is toilet paper recycled?
Easier than you would think, but first they have to process the crap out of it.
What do you call a physically disabled man who is sitting on the toilet inside the handicapped stall inside the men's restroom?
Sex worker.
This shit is weird (as baby girl pees).
Dad: “Trust me, shitting is weirder.”
When I shit in the toilet, I think that if I shit hard enough, I can see my asshole plug.
You're so poor, you use the same toilet paper every time you take a poop!
How to surprise a blind man: put a plunger in the toilet!
My hemorrhoids are so bad, I’ve had toilet bowls that looked like abortions.
What did the store manager say when they ran out of toilet paper?
We’re wiped out!
When you're Russian to the bathroom, and when you're finished you're from Finland, what are you when you are IN the bathroom?
European.
Why can't the toilet paper cross the road? It was stuck in a crack.