Why can't you hear a psychiatrist using the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent.
Toilet Jokes
What is the weirdest thing to wear and what is the weirdest thing to say?
Weirdest thing to ware: Socks with sandals, also with flip flops!
Weirdest thing to say: "Would you rather be a bath or a toilet?" "The blue angel sea slug looks like an alien." (weird).
Bonus: Things to ware with other things: Crop top with t-shirt (really hip), Crop top with tights or shorts, dresses with tights! (Cool) Oh well byeeeeeee!
Spock went to the Enterprise's toilet and he knocked on it. "Kirk, are you in there?" Spock asked.
Kirk answered, "Hold on, I am making a captain's log."
Why did the chicken cross the road? To poo in the toilet.
What did the poop say to the toilet paper? “You’re on a roll!”
The pirate looked down the toilet, and what did he see?
The captain's log.
We spend the weekend getting the poop out!
Yo momma's so short that she fell off the toilet and broke her leg.
My mom once ate a full giant cheesecake, and we were walking to our flight back home, and she had to sh*t.
We were walking to the bathroom, and she full on [did it] in front of the carousel. She had a lump of poo in her pants... True story, haha!
Why does the Queen play poker on the toilet?
Because she always gets a Royal flush!
Why did oozy go to the toilet to eat trains?
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
They stuck a plunger down the toilet.
What do you call a Spanish toilet?
Elton John.
My ex was so full of shit, she probably poured toilet cleaner in her nose to get relief.
What kind of shit does a ghost take every time? A spooky dookie!
What did the spectator miss when going to the toilet?
The entire English innings.
If you get out of the shower clean, how does your towel get dirty?
You have been accused of stealing toilet rolls. How do you plead?
Guilty or not guilty?
A: What's the difference between a toilet and a washing basin?
B: I don't know.
A: Then I guess your house looks beautiful...
B: ...
Knock it out, you poo-a-loo, go get your loo.
