Toilet Jokes

My ex was so full of shit,she probably poured toilet cleaner in her nose to get relief.

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her.

Stuck a plunger down the toilet

What do you call a spanish toilet. Elton John

You have been accused of stealing toilet rolls. How do you plead?

Quilty or Not Quilty?

if you get out the shower clean how does your towel get dirty?

Roses are red violets are blue get the fuck out I’m trying to poo

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

A: What's the difference between a toilet and a washing basin? B: I don't know A: Then I guess your house looks beautiful... B: ..

my mom once ate a full giant cheesecake and we were walking to our flight back home and she had to shat. we were walking to the bathroom and she full on in front of the caroulsel, she had a lump of poo in her pants... true story haha

What do expression do you use when the toilet is clogged?

Oh Shit!

Who do you ask to wipe you? Your Butler

*Breaking News!* - Apparently the first person in Melbourne has died because of the Coronavirus. In his house they found 1000 cans of food, 50 kilos of pasta, 80 kilos of rice, 300 toilet rolls and 50L of hand sanitiser which he had panic purchased from the supermarket and stock piled "just in case".

The whole lot collapsed and buried him.

A toddler, was giving her daddy a tea party She brought him a little cup of "tea" which was just water, of course. After several cups of tea , her Mom came home, Dad made her wait in the living room to watch his little Princess bring him a cup of tea, because it was, "Just the cutest thing!" Mom waited, and sure enough, here she come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy. She watches him drink it up and then says, "You know the only place she can reach water, is the toilet!