Time jokes
You know every time we think of sex, an angel dies.
We ran out of dead people hundreds of years ago.
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.
Why are orphans bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house is.
I saw a child crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.
What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time.
Did you know? The letter ‘f’ in orphan stands for family.
What is an orphan’s least favorite song? We Are Family.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? Meet the Parents.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite type of music? House.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.
What’s an orphan’s favorite band? Foster the People.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms.
What beer do orphans drink? Foster’s.
Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin.
Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it’s the only love they get.
Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away? Me: Your parents.
How is a priest like a wristwatch?
They both start at 12.
Q: What did Britney say to Kevin when they were in bed?
A: "Hit me baby one more time."
if you play minecraft: your dog is still waiting for you in the world you made along time ago.
how fun
A guy tried to suffocate himself with his BMW exhaust, but his engine failed.
This is the first time German engineering fails to gas someone.
I tell dad jokes all the time even though I’m not actually a dad.
I’m a faux pa.
Your mum is so slow, it took her nine months to make a joke.
Has Covid-19 forced you to wear glasses and a mask at the same time?
You may be entitled to condensation.
If two blind people meet, one of them says: "Long time, no see!"
Why was 10 scared?
Because it was in the middle of 9/11.
People wear chokers, and I'm a choker too, because I tried to choke myself 6 times.
Why can't orphans really play baseball?
Because when they do, all the other kids tell that joke that everyone has heard more than 50 times.
If her age is on the clock, she can sit on my cock.
Straight people ask why gays have such a good fashion sense.
They have to come out of the closet sometime.
Did you hear about the woman who put her husband’s ashes in a burrito?
He gets to tear that ass up one more time.
I’ve been munching away on these new Tic Tacs recently and honestly, they are really good.
It’s a little strange how they came in a bottle labeled “Ibuprofen” though, and really, I’m starting to feel a little sick. The bottle’s almost empty though, so it’s time to get some more!
My dad told me a joke one time. When I realized the joke, the second tower was hit.
What’s the difference between my ex and a unicycle?
A unicycle can only take one person at a time.
One time a blind person grabbed my arm thinking it was something else.
"Oh wow, this is such an interesting book!"