Time jokes

How is a priest like a wristwatch?

They both start at 12.

Q: What did Britney say to Kevin when they were in bed?

A: "Hit me baby one more time."

if you play minecraft: your dog is still waiting for you in the world you made along time ago.

A guy tried to suffocate himself with his BMW exhaust, but his engine failed.

This is the first time German engineering fails to gas someone.

I tell dad jokes all the time even though I’m not actually a dad.

I’m a faux pa.

Your mum is so slow, it took her nine months to make a joke.

Has Covid-19 forced you to wear glasses and a mask at the same time?

You may be entitled to condensation.

If two blind people meet, one of them says: "Long time, no see!"

Why was 10 scared?

Because it was in the middle of 9/11.

People wear chokers, and I'm a choker too, because I tried to choke myself 6 times.

Why can't orphans really play baseball?

Because when they do, all the other kids tell that joke that everyone has heard more than 50 times.

If her age is on the clock, she can sit on my cock.

Straight people ask why gays have such a good fashion sense.

They have to come out of the closet sometime.

Did you hear about the woman who put her husband’s ashes in a burrito?

He gets to tear that ass up one more time.

I’ve been munching away on these new Tic Tacs recently and honestly, they are really good.

It’s a little strange how they came in a bottle labeled “Ibuprofen” though, and really, I’m starting to feel a little sick. The bottle’s almost empty though, so it’s time to get some more!

My dad told me a joke one time. When I realized the joke, the second tower was hit.

What’s the difference between my ex and a unicycle?

A unicycle can only take one person at a time.

One time a blind person grabbed my arm thinking it was something else.

"Oh wow, this is such an interesting book!"

What did Chris Brown say the first time he saw Rihanna?

I’d hit that.

Yo mama so fat, her cheeks are in different time zones.