Time jokes
What did the man say when he swallowed a clock and tried to go to the bathroom?
WATCH OUT!!!
What time are most dentist appointments? Tooth hurty.
People wear chokers, and I'm a choker too, because I tried to choke myself 6 times.
Why was 10 scared?
Because it was in the middle of 9/11.
Why are people in Japan so thin?
Because it didn't end well the last time a Fat Man was there.
Memes
What did Chris Brown say the first time he saw Rihanna?
I’d hit that.
If two blind people meet, one of them says: "Long time, no see!"
What time do terrorists arrive in New York City?
9:11 AM
I asked my friend how long I can be in the sky. He said if you are emo, then forever.
Yo mama so fat, her cheeks are in different time zones.
Why can't orphans really play baseball?
Because when they do, all the other kids tell that joke that everyone has heard more than 50 times.
I am never wrong. One time I thought I was wrong, but I was mistaken.
If her age is on the clock, she can sit on my cock.
My last 15 minutes as a 23 y/o!!
It's not my birthday, but a scary-looking man with a crowbar just broke into my house.
A blonde drops off her dress to the dry cleaners.
The lady says, "Come again!"
The blonde says, "No, it's toothpaste this time."
Why was everybody so tired on April 1st? Because they just finished a March of 31 days!
Depressed procrastinators feel like they wanna kill themselves sometime soon.
I used to date a girl with a lazy eye. Turns out she was seeing someone else the whole time.
A guy tried to suffocate himself with his BMW exhaust, but his engine failed.
This is the first time German engineering fails to gas someone.
Blondes like their men how they like their rice: brown, 500 at a time, and all in her bowl.