Time jokes
Yo mama so old, she was Jesus' nanny! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
I'll slit your throat and kick you in the gut till you die one time.
Guys to wind the clock up?
Me: What's the difference between me and my grandpa?
Friends: What?
Me: I've been alive for the past 14 years.
I see 6 letters in "the past."
I have 2020 vision.
I see 7 letters in "the future," I have 2021 vision.
Your mum is so slow, it took her nine months to make a joke.
Why can’t anyone sing “hit me with your best shot” at the veterans ball karaoke?
Because every time she sang the line “fire away,” someone started shooting!
Time waits for no man, time is obviously a woman.
Is it weird that a milk carton has a date, and I don’t?
Now it's time to make fun of Asians.
What do you call an Asian eating jelly? Yellow Jell-O.
I used to work at a candlestick factory, but only on the wickends! It was illuminating!
Why don’t I shut myself all the time?
I can only fit so many pairs of kids in my mouth and stomach at the same time.
What did Chris Brown say the first time he saw Rihanna?
I’d hit that.
My grandpa and your hairline go way back.
What time is it when you say, "Wake up?"
It is morning.
Hey guys, today's funniest prank: is when I poured a bunch of red wine into the chicken salad...to be honest, it was a TON of wine I poured in there! My family could not tell the difference at all! Anyway, bye, that's the prankster! Next time or see you next time!
Old.
Why do hackers in Africa have hard times dealing with firewalls?
They don't have water.
My hair goes just onto my collar bones. WOW! That's longer than I'll live.
Type this in your calculator:
5 days a week (type in 5),
6 different classes (type in 6),
7 hours a day (type in 7),
x
2 semesters (type in 2),
=
flip the calculator over ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°).