Time jokes
What do suicidal people do in their spare time?
Hang out.
How many retards does it take to change a lightbulb? None! They are still too busy trying to turn off the dark.
Click...uh Click..........,.UH!!
Confucius say, never try win head-butting contest with mongoloid: you’ll lose every time and only hurt yourself.
(mono gloid? mong a’ loid squeals)
Did you hear the one about the dog raised by retards?
All he’d do is go “Uh-f, uh-f....Ooohhhh!”
There are times I miss you, that I wish I could remember where I hid your body.
In 2006 on 6/9, there was something called communication opportunity happened. On 6/9. 69. Coincidence? I think NOT.
What did the mommy cow say to the baby cow?
It's pasture your bedtime.
Say Fentanyl 3 times in the mirror and you'll see Derek Chauvin kneeling on George Floyd's neck.
Have you seen the Justin meme?
Yeah, the ones that cracked at Fortnite?
Just-in time for deez nuts.
Bruh.
But actually, it's a parody.
Wait, actually?
Parodiesnuts (pair of deez nuts).
Have a great year!
What do you call a winter time contact?
A Santa Claus.
Man from 2001 just called. They want a tower back.
What time is it?
Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
Producer: We need to stop testing out products on animals.
CEO: Shampoo companies do it all the time.
Fairchild Republic making the A-10 Thunder Bolt.
Why can't people in wheelchairs be gay? Cuz you can't be a fruit and a vegetable at the same time.
Yo mama so old that when she farts, she farts dust!
What time is it when you say, "Wake up?"
It is morning.
What does a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken have in common?
By the time you're done with the breasts and the thighs, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in.
I went home to my girlfriend with milk! She said, "Oh thank you honey!"
Then I got a call from a girl named Melissa. She called and said, "Steven, where the hell have you been? It's been two weeks and you still haven't come back yet?"
Hi, oooo was the day I was a kid. I was going home to school today after dinner!
Every time someone calls me fat, I get so depressed I cut myself... a piece of cake.