Time jokes

What do Time Clocks like to play?

Tick Tack Toe.

Don't hate life, love it because when you want to live and try again in life, it's already too late. :(

What happens once every minute, twice every millennium, but never in a hundred years? The letter M.

Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy anLet's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste.

Did you hear about the man who swallowed his watch?

He went to the doctor hoping he could give him something to help pass the time.

It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. It's true.

I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.

What brakes but never falls, and what falls but never brakes? Answer: Night falls and dawn brakes.

What is always moving but we never see it walk?

Time! Hahahaha!

When did I wake up?

At the quack of dawn!

Your hairline is so far back that it dated back to 13 BC.

When is the only time Kamala Harris is using her head? When she is giving head.

Every time someone calls me fat, I get so depressed I cut myself... a piece of cake.

Once upon a time... Chuck Norris stepped on a Lego. R.I.P. the Lego piece.

Sometimes I look at my butt for a really, really long time, and suddenly it all becomes clear to me.

I went to see my doctor today and I asked him how come every time I have sex my eyes hurt.

He said that’s a common reaction to pepper spray.

What do you call a winter time contact?

A Santa Claus.

If two blind people meet, one of them says: "Long time, no see!"

Every time I go to the store I look in the deodorant section and my dyslexia acts up. Instead of "antiperspirant," I read "antidepressant." At least I get a bunch of extra snacks out of my shopping mistakes.

Hey guys, it's Hailey here.

I'ma start off with henlo ;-;

I know you guys aren't going to believe me because of the assholes who were faking to be me, but if you can try to believe me, I'll explain.

So, Jake, we can't really be together anymore, since we no longer can chat. I'm so sorry.

Basically, my parents caught us on here as you realized. Yayyyy.

I don't have time to say anything else. So I've gotta go, but thankyou guys for everything you did for me.

Also, you won't get any response from me so yea. So sorry guys ;-;

One time in camp, I kissed my bunkmate Bret in the shower. He cupped my breasts and lathered them in Prell, but I'm totally not gay... :)