Time jokes
What does dark humor and a child with cancer have in common?
That it will never get old.
Why don’t old people have sex?
When was the last time you tried pulling apart a grilled cheese that old?
A blonde drops off her dress to the dry cleaners.
The lady says, "Come again!"
The blonde says, "No, it's toothpaste this time."
You see this guy's sense, bahh? If it was a cartoon, it would be an avatar. Cause why?
Anytime he needs it most, it vanishes. 😹💔
Dawn rises on the Serengeti, and she has no idea as to how she got there.
Stolen dad jokes: "I'm afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered."
What time do you call me tomorrow?
Just burned 2,000 calories. That's the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.
A little riddle...
Trump has it short, Kennedy has it long, the Pope has it but he doesn't use it, what is it?
...
Obviously the Surname, what are you thinking about you pervert?
"When is the best time to commit suicide?"
Ate a Glock in the morning.
Why is it annoying to eat by basketball players? Because they dribble all the time!
What time is your name from? Any time.
Yo momma is so old, she farts dust!
If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I'd be broke.
Why is being alive so expensive? I'm not even having a good time.
A deaf couple wants to know when to have sex.
The wife says, "If you want to have sex, squeeze my tits once. If you don't want to have sex, squeeze my tits twice."
The husband says, "OK, if you want to have sex, pull my dick once. If you don't want to have sex, pull my dick 437 times."
Why is time important? To not be late.
Sans: I like eating ketchup, don't believe me? It's ASRIEL as it gets!
UT Sans to UT pap: You FORGHETTIE the spaghetti!!!
Ink sans: umm lust? That's INKAPPROPRIATE!
Fell sans: I hate these double standards...if you burn a body at a crematorium you're doing "a good job," do it at home and your "destroying evidence."
Error sans: Every time you make a typo, the errorists win.
Did you hear about the two burglars that stole a calendar?
I hear they got six months each.
Yo mama eat so much that she threw up a thousand times and said, "Help me, son!"