Time jokes
I thought I told you to lock up when I left this morning. This is why our shit gets stolen all the time!
Why are there only 363 days in an orphaned year?
Because they don’t have a father's or Mother’s Day.
What did the shoe say to the other shoe?
Nothing, it was tied up in another conversation.
Type this in your calculator:
5 days a week (type in 5),
6 different classes (type in 6),
7 hours a day (type in 7),
x
2 semesters (type in 2),
=
flip the calculator over ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°).
I'm 17, right? Anyways, the other day my parents told me a joke they made 17 years ago, but they still haven't told the joke yet.
Good day today, love you. Walk in love day and a walk home night. Night, night. I did not get snow. I love it is the day that we get a tree. I have to go get some sleep. Was good day at school today, but I’m going to be...
I traveled through time to get my dad back.
I failed because I was 1e21 years off.
Teacher to Student: You are supposed to be here at 9 am!
Student: Oh, did I miss anything?
Yo mama's so fat that every time she goes on an elevator, it goes down.
And there's the referee taking down Ronaldo's number.
Not really the time or the place, but it's good to see that we've kept homophobia out of football.
What’s something you can say about vacation, but not about your girlfriend?
Next time I’m bringing all my friends.
I bought my son an Xbox in 2017. It’s now 2018, and I’m still waiting for him to open it.
Hi guys, I am Logan Taub the toad. I just want to say that my cock is so, so, so tiny. It could fit 50 times in the crack of my butt chin!!!!! Also, I am trans👍
What kind of rape victim has a shower ten times a day?
The type that gets raped a lot.
Why did the ducks go to jail?
They sold quack.
If you put your foot in a pond, your foot will get wet.
No joke, I just wasted about 5 or 6 seconds of your life.
Jay and Andrew are best friends who are almost alike. The difference between them both is Jay is poor and well... Andrew, on the other hand, is suck-a-dick poor. Let me explain, Jay wakes up in his room, walks to the kitchen, and asks his mom, Lisa (I call her Lisa now, btw), if there is anything to eat. "No, bitch!" she replies, so Jay drinks a glass of milk and goes back to bed.
Now Andrew... wakes up, jumps out of bed, and he's in the kitchen. He sees his mom fixing some food for work after a long hard night of giving her husband blue balls. "Anything left for me, Mother?" Andrew asks. "Sorry, Honey, I have to eat to put food on the table and to get the running again." *so she goes to work, taking her time* Andrew sits by his bedside and says to himself, "Man... I'd suck a dick for some water right now." *his mom storms back after hearing what he had said* "I'll buy you a soda if you do my first customer for me!"
What hype is this place out? Is it for the night? You cannot say what is a great night. I have a good night.
Where do math teachers go on vacation? Times Square.
Yo mama so slow, she took nine months to make the joke. Thank god mine only took 6.