Jesus lives on a long timeline, so he may seem slow to you.
Why did Jesus create the Devil?
He didn't recognize himself through the time portal.
It took me 9.11 seconds to realize.
What do orphans and olden day actors have in common?
Both get food thrown at them some of the time.
One day, a class of children were killed in a bus accident, but only some survived. One was praying that he would survive, and the other said, "First time?"
A friend of mine says "Baguette" all the time cuz she is French.
One time Michael Jackson had an allergic reaction from eating 12-year-old nuts.
Today is the day, time for more jokes!
You wanna hear a joke?
Two Emos hanging out under a tree.
How many Emos does it take to commit suicide? Way too fucking many, because they never get it right the first time!
The Good Old Days.
You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life.
Why do dads take time to get?
Milk
I swear every time I walk past a guy, they stare at my ass. I always keep wondering why it hurts so much.
Lemme just say one thing:
Depression is not funny. Two of my best friends have it, and it's actually quite hard to watch them suffer with it. They cry all the time, they get upset all the time, they either have wanted to or still do want to kill themselves. It's really not funny to joke about depression.
Two natives sit in the bar getting shit-faced.
Almost closing time, "Brother, you gonna snag?"
"Yeah, I'm taking her home."
He walks over, she gathers her things. Walking out together, he takes her to his car outback. They stay messing around then start having sex. He starts to get carried away. He looks down at her. She looks up at him and says, "Slow down, cousin, you're going too fast..."
You're so poor, you use the same toilet paper every time you take a poop!
When does a joke become a dad joke?
When it becomes apparent!
Dad joke time:
What do you call a cow in an earthquake?
A milkshake.
One time I killed Sam, Stan, and Gran on Roblox, and she was really mad.
Your hairline is so far back that my father couldn't even reach the store in time before it grew!
"Shout out to entity...welcome to hell!"
"Every time I see your icon I vomit lol."
"Get a life... hey I'm violet olivegarden how can I help you if you need me to disc someone ill help..."
