How did the Apple and the emo fall off the tree at the same time? Because Paul Walker crashed into it
I heard a neat little trick you can use to have a public pool all to yourself. If you blow a whistle 3 times, everyone will just get out!
I got in big trouble the other day, though it was pretty unfair. Babies kick pregnant women all the time, and yet I got arrested anyways.
Don't let mistakes drag you down. My dad made one mistake but it ended up fulfilling the 5 year plan of heat energy generation in less than a millisecond.
whats the worst thing to say to an emo. if you don't succeed the first time try try try again
(Okay, actually improvised this time.)
What's the difference between Jeffrey Dahmer and an Emo?
They're both gay and use knives.
FREE MY ÑIGGA EDP HE INNOCENT ONCE UPON A TIME I WENT OVER TO HIS HOUSE AND HE FARTED SO GAHDAMN MUCH INTO MY MOUTH THAT I STARTED DROOLING A HERSHEY WATERFALL THIS ÑIGGA IS SO SEXY AND I LOVE WHEN HE SITS HIS FAT ASS ON TOP OF ME TYSON U JUST JEALOUS YOU AIN’T GOT NO ONE LIKE BRYANT U RETARDED LOOKING ASS BITCH I DARE YOU TO GET A PARTNER AS LOYAL AND INNOCENT AS EDP FREE MY ÑIGGA BIG HOMIE CHEESE HEAD 474747 HE INNOCENT
A bus full of nuns falls off a cliff and they all die. They arrive at the gates of heaven and meet St. Peter. St. Peter says to them, “Sisters, welcome to Heaven. In a moment I will let you all through the pearly gates, but before I may do that, I must ask each of you a single question.”
St. Peter turns to the first nun in the line and asks her, “Sister, have you ever touched a penis?” The Sister responds, “Well... there was this one time... that I kinda sorta... touched one with the tip of my pinky finger...” St. Peter says, “Alright Sister, now dip the tip of your pinky finger in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted.” and she did so.
St. Peter now turns to the second nun and says, “Sister, have you ever touched a penis?” “Well.... There was this one time... that I held one for a moment...” “Alright Sister, now just wash your hands in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted” and she does so.
Now at this, there is a noise, a jostling in the line. It seems that one nun is trying to cut in front of another! St. Peter sees this and asks the Nun, “Sister Susan, what is this? There is no rush!” Sister Susan responds, “Well if I’m going to have to gargle this stuff, I’d rather do it before Sister Mary sticks her ass in it!”
I don't need to go to the car dealership when I have a Geico scanner on my arm at all times. 😏
Yo what quacking lacking?looking for a ducking good time?I've got some one lines and knee slappers that ought to fix the bill.what happens flied upside down?it quacks up.
What time does a duck wake up at the quack of dawn
I KNOW IT'S MARCH, BUT I THOUGHT OF THIS!!
Jingle bells, jingle bells! OH GOD, SANTA FELL! I guess it's time for Mrs. Claus to go straight down to hell!
What takes 10 seconds to go SLPAT! on the ground?
9/11 victim!
Did u know a erasor on a pencil slowly dies of your mistakes and did u know your actually supposed to live for 25 min but every time u breath resets time
I hope every time you watch youtube, you get 30 second unskippable ads
I looked at your hairline, and when I saw you I thought to my self of the last time I was a baby
Me time
you mama so fat one punch man had to punch 3 times
I talk about the girls in my math class simping over anime characters and making random ships as well as for miraculous ladybug childrens show whatever the show is called but its a kids show. Skull emoji. Now they’re searching up pictures of tom holland laughing in their absolute weirdness. I like Tom Holland but these kids man, they like him like they’re in a relationship. They might as well start kissing and licking the screen. They’re probably writing fanfictions in their free time when they aren’t searching up kids show characters, anime characters, and Tom Holland pics on their SCHOOL CHROMEBOOK. Their only device choice was a school provided laptop which is monitored by the school while they are writing fan fictions on google docs and searching up some weird Tom Holland stuff. Imagine how Tom Holland would feel if he found out that there are 11 year old girls searching up some weird stuff about him
How long does it take for a depressed person to change a light bulb? 5 days. & I’m pretty proud of myself.
