Time jokes

What are the four seasons?

Salt, Pepper, Sugar, and Flour.

Why do orphans go to church on family day? cuz they get to spend time with their father.

Just to get things straight, I'm NOT, I repeat, NOT racist, but this joke goes out to all the people who talk about other people with darker skin than the other person.

Bully: Your skin is so black and ugly (for the 5th time).

Me: I'm so happy you love my skin color!

Bully: Ew, no I don't!

Me: Then why do you keep talking about it?

What did the minute hand say to the hour hand?

Why are you so tall?

Straight people ask why gays have such a good fashion sense. Baby, we didn’t spend all that time in the closet for nothing.

Pigeons can be annoying at times, especially when their bones get stuck in-between your teeth.

"Yo mama's so fat, that I took a picture of her last Christmas, and it's still printing today!"

I'm deaf. My deaf ex-wife cheated on me with a guy who I met on a deaf social trip who was also deaf. I guess I didn't see the signs at the time.

I went shopping, and then to the hospital, and then to bed, and then I promised to only say "and" once in a sentence.

What is the smartest month?

April - No one can fool it.

Jay and Andrew are best friends who are almost alike. The difference between them both is Jay is poor and well... Andrew, on the other hand, is suck-a-dick poor. Let me explain, Jay wakes up in his room, walks to the kitchen, and asks his mom, Lisa (I call her Lisa now, btw), if there is anything to eat. "No, bitch!" she replies, so Jay drinks a glass of milk and goes back to bed.

Now Andrew... wakes up, jumps out of bed, and he's in the kitchen. He sees his mom fixing some food for work after a long hard night of giving her husband blue balls. "Anything left for me, Mother?" Andrew asks. "Sorry, Honey, I have to eat to put food on the table and to get the running again." *so she goes to work, taking her time* Andrew sits by his bedside and says to himself, "Man... I'd suck a dick for some water right now." *his mom storms back after hearing what he had said* "I'll buy you a soda if you do my first customer for me!"

Once, there was a man that was coming to my house and peeing in my yard. Then the man came back to my house and flopped his penis everywhere and peed at the same time, and it went all over my face.

So the next day, he came back, and I got my BB gun and shot a metal BB into his peepee.

This didn't actually happen.

Why was the asian late to class?

His 1 minute rice took 2 minutes to cook.

Teacher: Great! You’re studying in break time!

Student: Thank you. I heard that it is good to study before sleep.

Time for you to stop looking at jokes on worstjokesever.com and go to bed!

Is depression sadness or happiness? I call it a fun time.

Why is the cheetah so bad at hide-n-seek? Because every time she hides, she will always [be] spotted.

What do you call an orphan's family reunion? "Me time."

One time a man climbed a mountain and saw a guy.

"Who are you?"

"I am mountain man!"

Hi! I love that you love a good time of my day.