What did Helen Keller do when she fell down a well? Screamed till her hands fell off.
At night time, in Africa, it's known as the darkest country. Till this day, I still wonder why.
A teacher asked her young students to get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day, the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories. There were all the regular type of stuff.
But then the teacher realized that only Janie was left. "Janie, do you have a story to share?" "Yes madam... My daddy told me a story about my Mom." "OK, let's hear" said the teacher.
"My Mom was a Marine pilot in Operation Desert Storm in Iraq and her plane got hit." "She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife." "She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn't break and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops." "She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands."
Pin drop silence in the class!
"Good Heavens" said the horrified teacher "What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story?"
"Stay away from Mummy when she's drunk...!!!!"
Jack fucked Jill's pussy till it stopped functioning.
What do you call a old snowman that survived till summer!...water...yup,water...
Roses are red, violets are blue, and if you're my friend, I'll be there till the end.
So, on one partly cloudy night, there was a boy and his dad gazing up at the sky.
Dad: Aren't the stars just wonderful?
Boy: I'm not sure, from my angle, all I see are clouds.
Dad: Well, come over here and take a look.
Boy: Damn, the clouds always move when I get to the right spot!
Dad: Well then, I guess I will have to make you see them everywhere you look then.
Then the Dad shook and spun the boy around till he said...
NOW I'M SEEING STARS!!!
I was playing hide-n-seek with my dad and he hid, but I could never find him till this day.
Hi Freshfry, hi Alex, I did not see your messages yesterday because I was at my brother's soccer game, and then people came to our house till 11:00. Lol, sorry :)
What do you mean cook? We wait till summer.
Kobe is a legend and is nothing to joke about. Wait till you crash and burn!
People thought they were going to another country till they saw terrorists were flying the plane.
No matter how much I cry, the white people still left me hanging.
My middle name is Brian. I was so proud of being able to spell my full name till someone pointed out "Johnny Brain Walker" was incorrect.
Nasruddin Hodja was tilling his patch of land when a hunter came riding up.
“Hey, you!" said the man. “Did you see a boar run past?"
“Yes," replied Hodja.
“Which way did it go?" demanded the man.
Hodja pointed in the direction in which the boar had gone.
The man rode away without a word of thanks, but he was back within minutes.
“No sign of it!" he said. “Are you sure it went that way?"
“I am certain," replied Hodja. “It went that way. Two years ago."
A calendar asked the doctor how many time he's got left. The doctor replied: "'Til December."
What's the difference between a mole and a priest?
One will till your 13 to put hairs on your face.
I'll slit your throat and kick you in the gut till you die one time.
I didn’t know what a class clown was till I went to a class and realized I was a class clown in kindergarten, and then I woke up from a nightmare.
When a hedgehog finds poop, they put it in their mouths. They mix it with saliva until it's a foam, then rub it on themselves.
