Cash Register jokes
All I wanna do is *gunshots* *gunshots* *gunshots* and *click* *cash register noise*, unlearn years of trauma and maintain healthy habits and fulfilling relationships while learning how to have solid boundaries and a whole sense of self.
"Stephen Hawking was talking about a cash register at Costco when he said I can鈥檛 stand these people. 馃槼馃槼馃槼馃槼馃槼馃槼 What did he saaaaaaayyyyyyy?"
A man walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a beer. After 10 shots of vodka, the guy had, the bartender figured if he talked to him, he would tell him everything as he鈥檚 not sober.
Bartender: Hey, that鈥檚 some nice jewellery you have there. It must be expensive.
Guy: Yeah, this bracelet is made of 100% diamond. It cost me like 250 thousand dollars. What a bargain, eh?
Bartender: Seems like you make a lot of money. What do you do for a living?
Guy: I take cash from the bank and don鈥檛 give it back. It takes a lot of moral courage to rob banks to provide for my family.
Bartender: What? If that鈥檚 the case, then why do you even pay for the jewellery or this beer? You鈥檙e a hypocrite, that鈥檚 what you are, justifying robbing people as a living.
Guy: Hypocrite? You鈥檙e right. I'm living with double standards to justify my actions.
(5 seconds later)
Guy: Aye, open the cash register and give me your wallet or I will blow your fucking brains out. I fucking hate hypocrites and I will not gonna be one of em!
The cashier asked if I wanted to give my extra dollar to the poor. I said sure, and I got a Cash App notification for $1.
A man entered the bank branch and asked the teller to withdraw his account balance. The teller debited his account and gave the man all his money. Then the man counted the money and asked the teller to deposit it back into his account.
The teller asked the man why he withdrew the money and deposited it back. Then the man replied, "I wanted to make sure all my money is safe and tallies with my records."
Lol
Why do you pay cash for the metro train in Newcastle upon Tyne?
You might be innocent, but if you carry a large sum of cash in public, the cops won鈥檛 believe that.
I take debt of 25,000 euro. I spend 20,000 in charity, and 5000 euro are left. I pay the debt of 2000 euro and I have to pay now 23,000 euro to bank, and 3000 euro I have in profit, 23,000 +3000 >> 26000 ;)