Till

Till jokes

Zit

95 views ·

I apologise for this joke lmfaooo, and you have probably heard this banger before, anyways;

What is the difference between a priest and a zit? 👀 The zit waits till you are 13 to come on your face 🤧

  • 2
  • Leaf

    23 views ·

    Joe: What do the Leafs and the Titanic have in common?

    Ben: I don't know.

    Joe: They both look good until they hit the ice.

    Pornography

    171 views ·

    It was pornography class, and there was a break.

    Two adults were "having a good time" till the teacher says...

    Teacher: Hey! SAY ALL THE NUMBERS TO 10,000 NOW!

    Adult 1: How about I say my ABC's?

    Teacher: Go ahead, I guess...

    Adult 1: A B C E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

    Teacher: Where's the D?

    Adult 2: Inside me...

  • 0
  • Suicide

    15 views ·

    Me, calls the police*

    Me: Hey, I'm gonna commit suicide!

    Cop on the phone: Please wait till we get there.

    Me: Why, so you can then stop me?

    Cop on the phone: No, we just want a murder, not a suicidal report on your paper... and we are all bored!

    Me: Ok, my house number is *********************, ok!

    Cop on the phone: Awesome! Just a sec. *whispers* Guys, I finally found someone who wants to get killed!

    Pill

    18 views ·

    JACK AND JILL 2.0

    After Jill went down the hill to get a pill,

    Jack was screaming till his voice went nil,

    And Jill screamed "Chill!"

    Advice

    Small word of advice: Don't wait till next month or next year to do stuff with the people you love, because they may be gone by then. You don't realize, but every second there is someone who dies, and it just could be your loved one.

    Asia

    24 views ·

    God created everyone unique till he got to Asia, then it just went to copy paste, copy paste.

    Robot

    67 views ·

    Mother, father, and a son. Father purchased a robot that can detect lies. The robot slaps when you lie.

    During dinner time: Father: Son, what have you done today? Son: I watched Netflix, Dad. Robot: Stood up and slapped the son! Son: Okay! Okay! I watched porn, Dad. Dad: What? You watched porn? You are only 14! I never knew porn till I was 18 years of age. Robot: Stood up and slapped the Dad! Mother: Started to laugh and said "Sure he is your son!" Robot: Stood up and slapped the mother!

    Hehe

    Bedbug

    11 views ·

    Good night, sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite, and if they do, hit them with a shoe till they're all black and blue!

    Orphan

    713 views ·

    Why can orphans stay out until whatever time?

    Because their parents won't tell them when to come home.

    Hell

    57 views ·

    A guy dies and finds himself in Hell. Despondent, he sits on the ground and weeps uncontrollably.

    Demon: "Why so sad, my friend?"

    Guy: "What do you think? I'm in hell!"

    Demon: "Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinkin' man?"

    Guy: "Sure, I love to drink."

    Demon: "Well, you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays, that's all we do, is drink. Whiskey, tequila, vodka, beer... We drink till we throw up and then drink some more."

    Guy: "Gee, that sounds great!"

    Demon: "You a smoker?"

    Guy: "You better believe it."

    Demon: "Alright! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from around the world and smoke our fucking lungs out. If you get cancer, it's ok, you're already dead!"

    Guy: "Golly."

    Demon: "I bet you like to gamble."

    Guy: "Yes, as a matter of fact, I do."

    Demon: "Good, because Wednesday is gambling day. Craps, blackjack, horse races, you name it."

    Guy: "Wow."

    Demon: "You like to do drugs?"

    Guy: "Well, I love to do drugs. You don't mean..."

    Demon: "That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack. Smoke a joint the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want, and if you overdose, it's ok... You're already dead!"

    Guy: "Neat! I never realized hell was such a swingin' place!"

    Demon: "You gay?"

    Guy: "Uh, no."

    Demon: "Ohhh... You're gonna hate Fridays...."

    Driver

    2 views ·

    1, 2, 3, 4, 5. I'm old enough to drive, for now I'm still alive, till I crash in that beehive!