Little Johnny was overheard by his mother reciting his homework, “Two plus two, the son of a b*tch is four; four plus four, the son of a b*tch is eight; eight plus eight, the son of a b*tch...; “Johnny!” shouted his mother. “Stop swearing!” “But mom!” Little Johnny protested, “That’s what the teacher taught us! And she said we should recite it till we learned it!” The next day his mother went to the teacher to complain. “No, no.” said the teacher terrified. “That’s not what I taught them. They’re supposed to say: ‘Two plus two, the sum of which is four.'”
Jack and Jill went up the hill 'cause Jack took a viagra, Jill was drunk fell to her knee, Jack had his chance did Jill till 3
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
It was pornography class, and there was a break.
Two adults were "having a good time" till the teacher says..
Teacher: Hey! SAY ALL THE NUMBERS TO 10,000 NOW!
Adult 1: How about I say my abc's?
Teacher: Go ahead, i guess....
Adult 1: A B C E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Teacher: Wheres the D?
Adult 2: Inside me...
JACK AND JILL 2.0
After Jill went down the hill to get a pill,
Jack was screaming till his voice went nil
And Jill screamed "Chill!"
small word of advice:Don't wait till next month or next year to do stuff with the people you love cuz they may be gone by then, you don't realize but every second there is someone who dies and it just could be your loved one.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
God created everyone unique till he got to Asia then it just went to copy paste copy paste
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Y'all I'm suspended till wendsday and can't do much cuz I'm on a tablet not my computer. Tell autterpop I won't be on till wendsday or after
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A guy dies and finds himself in Hell. Despondent, he sits on the ground and weeps uncontrollably. Demon: "Why so sad, my friend?"
Guy: "What do you think? I'm in hell!"
Demon: "Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinkin' man?"
Guy: "Sure, I love to drink."
Demon: "Well, you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays, that's all we do, is drink. Whiskey, tequila, vodka, beer... We drink till we throw up and then drink some more."
Guy: "Gee, that sounds great!"
Demon: "You a smoker?"
Guy: "You better believe it."
Demon: "Alright! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from around the world and smoke our fucking lungs out. If you get cancer, it's ok, you're already dead!"
Guy: "Golly"
Demon: "I bet you like to gamble."
Guy: "Yes, as a matter of fact, I do."
Demon: "Good, because Wednesday is gambling day. Craps, blackjack, horse races, you name it."
Guy: "Wow."
Demon: "You like to do drugs?"
Guy: "Well, I love to do drugs. You don't mean..."
Demon: "That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack. Smoke a joint the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want, and if you overdose, it's ok... You're already dead!"
Guy: "Neat! I never realized hell was such a swingin' place!"
Demon: "You gay?"
Guy: "Uh, no."
Demon: "Ohhh... You're gonna hate Fridays...."
Hi alex you will probibly not see this till the morning but I just wanted to say I have had fun sense you were here also thank you so much for protecting me and their for me and yah have a good day!
1 2 3 4 5. I'm old enough to drive, for now I'm still alive, till I crash in that beehive!
steven hawkings was so excited for christmas till he relized he got socks
Q. What is Terri Schiavo's favourite Eminem song? A. Till I collapse.
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A Teacher asked her young students to get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day, the kids came back and one by one, began to tell their stories. There were all the regular type of stuff.
But then the teacher realized that only Janie was left. "Janie, do you have a story to share ?’ ''Yes madam...My daddy told me a story about my Mom " “OK, let’s hear” said the teacher.
“My Mom was a Marine pilot in Operation Desert Storm in Iraq and her plane got hit”. “She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol and a survival knife”. “She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn’t break and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops.” “She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands.”
Pin drop silence in the class !!
''Good Heavens" said the horrified teacher “What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story ?”
“Stay away from Mummy when she’s drunk```...!!!”
What did Helen Keller do when she fell down a well? Screamed till her hands fell off.
