Neighbor

Anonymous

Little Natalie was playing with matches. Her mother caught her, took them, whupped her and told her never to play with matches again. A few minutes later, Little Natalie was playing with matches again. The curtains caught fire and the house burned down. Another few minutes later, when she and her mother were sitting at their neighbors, her mother told her: If you think I gave you a whupping, wait till your father gets home! Little Natalie just cackled with delight, because she knew her father had gotten home earlier and gone upstairs to take a nap.

Depression

J0K35

Guy: My life is like a game, I should end it.

Guy 2: Is it a hard life?

Guy: Yup

Guy 2: Then you can’t kill yourself LOL

Guy 3: Hold on, I know a cheat code to finish the “game”

Once again, RIP Daniel Kyre, he actually died this day five years ago.

He attempted suicide Sep 16, and was in life support, till his parents made the tough decision of taking him off.

We will miss ya bud… (cyndagoooooooo)

Breath

Ace da floof

Fun fact! You can hold your breath till the rest of your life

Future

Anonymous

Suicide gives your security for the future. Decide the day of suicide and live with full joy till that day and you can choose to postpone it.

High

Tonkiemars

A boy and girl in high school started dating for a while and things were going so well that the girl decided to invite the boy on a weekend trip. She said “I want you to come spend the weekend at our lakehouse and meet my parents. While we’re there, I’d also like to take our relationship to the next level.” “I’m there” the boy replied. The boy was so excited that he ran straight to the pharmacy to pick up some protection. He walked up to the pharmacist and told him about his weekend to come and said he needed some condoms. The pharmacist asked “do you want the 3 pack, 6 pack, or family sized 24 pack?” the boy replied " “I plan on getting busy all weekend. I’m not gonna stop pounding her till I’m black and blue. Give me the family pack.” “Sure thing” said the pharmacist. That weekend the boy went to the lakehouse and the whole family was sitting down at the dinner table to pray. the girls father asked the boy to say grace. The boy prayed and prayed. Almost ten minutes went by. Finally, the girl leaned over to the boy and said, “you never told me that you were so religious” the boy replied, “You never told me that your dad was a pharmacist”

Saw

Anonymous

I saw a cute coworker and had sex in the back till i realized it is a family buisness

Orphan

Nightshade

How are tinder and orphans alike?

You swipe left till you find the one you like

Offensive

Anonymous

Trying to make jokes in 2020- 2021 be like:

Comedian : When she went infront of the tv it took an hour till you can see the screen again.

Adiance : Why you gotta be so offensive

Comedian : Im not tr-

Aidiance : Oh so now your trying to debate?

Comedian : I-

Adiance : Now your acting racist?!

Priest

MyNameIsKatie:')

I apologise for this joke lmfaooo, and you have probably heard this banger before, anyways;

What is the difference between a priest and a zit? 👀 The zit waits till you are 13 to come on your face 🤧

Orphan

Kevin

How do you make a orphan’s hands bleed?

You tell them to clap till they’re parents come home

Priest

Anonymous

What’s the difference between a zit and a catholic priest?

A zit waits till you’re 13 to come on your face

Wait

Anonymous Cat

small word of advice:Don’t wait till next month or next year to do stuff with the people you love cuz they may be gone by then, you don’t realize but every second there is someone who dies and it just could be your loved one.

Giggle

Anonymous

Its all shits and giggles till somebody giggles and shits.

Blue

Gwen

Good night, sleep tight, don’t let the bedbugs bite, and if they do, hit them with a shoe, till there all black and blue!

(Classic)

Past

Anonymous

God created everyone unique till he got to Asia then it just went to copy paste copy paste

Blue

Gwen

1 2 3 4 5. I’m old enough to drive, for now I’m still alive, till I crash in that beehive!

Life

My Life Is Crazy Da Lack of Da Lazy Has Let Me Do Shit All Day!

Person: Bro, you have a bad and stupid life. Me: Yeah it was all good till you were here! Person: WTF!

Orphan

ALYA

Hi alex you will probibly not see this till the morning but I just wanted to say I have had fun sense you were here also thank you so much for protecting me and their for me and yah have a good day!

Puns

Anonymous

What do you call a old snowman that survived till summer!..water…yup,water…

Difference

Anonymous

Whats the Difference between acne and the Pope? Acne waits till your 13 to cum on your face