Three

Three Jokes

Three Nuns died in a car crash, they went up to heaven at the pearly gates the gate keeper said this really should not have happened so I am going to send you back to earth as different people so tell me who you want to be or look like the first nun said I want to look like Madonna puff,,you look like her now and but you canโ€™t use her name And sent her down to earth. The second one said I want to look like Marilyn Monroe he then makes her look like her and sends her down to earth. The third nun I said I want to look like Sarah Pipalini. The gate keeper says to her, Sarah Pipalini who is that? she gives the gate keeper a newspaper article he reads it shakes his head no and says itโ€™s not Sarah Pipalini it Sahara pipeline laid by 500 men.

3

There was a house with three storey building ๐Ÿข First one had Mexicans Second one had Africans Third one had white people Earthquake came But who did survive? ๐Ÿค” The white family Cause they were at work

One knight, a king and a queen went fishing. They each caught one fish so how did three fish end up in the bucket?

One "Knight"!!!

Why was one afraid of every number in the world?

Because ONE wanted TWO get something THREE FOUR FIVE at the yard sale, but SIX was not there. SEVEN EIGHT NINE as well. When all but ONE remained, it got TENse.

Three women were in heaven. The angel at the gates said, "How good the ride into heaven is for you, is determined by your commitment to your most recent partner." The first lady says, "2 years, 2 side-hoes." She got an old lexus. The second lady says, "10 years, 1 visit from a prostitute." She got a Mercedes-Benz. The third lady says, "I never had a husband." The angel says in response, "F*ck me and then you can have a lambo." They all arrive in heaven, to see the second lady crying. The first lady says, "I know we are dead, but it could be a lot worse." "How!?" The third lady cries, "The angel has a flute for a d*ck!"

2

Paddys beautiful wife has not had an orgasm for the 15 yrs they have been married . The doctor suggests that she may be overheating during sex and a cool breeze may help . Being a bit of a cheapo , he decides not to buy a fan , but asks his friend Mick to waft a towel over them during the act . After half an hour, still no sign of success so his mate suggests swapping places . ' I'll have a try Paddy , you waft the towel ' Paddy agrees , and after two or three minutes Paddys wife has a moment of sexual pleasure screaming in ecstasy for the first time in 15 years . Paddy taps his mate Mick on teh shoulder and says 'And that, Mick, is how you waft a bloody towel' !

0

Johnny had 55 pineapples. He threw three at his friend. How many does he have now?

None because he was pistol whipped then shot at point blank range with a sawed off shotgun covered in fluoroantimonic acid which burned a hole in his skull causing his brain to melt and rupture nerve cells all over his friends. Then his arms and legs were stuffed into a wheat thresher which was used to harvest the meat of the enslaved children. Then his corpse was molested.

7

The 6th-grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, โ€œWhich human body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?โ€

No one answered until little Mary stood up and said, โ€œYou should not be asking sixth-graders a question like that! Iโ€™m going to tell my parents, and they will go and tell the principal, who will then fire you!โ€

Mrs. Parks ignored her and asked the question again, โ€œWhich body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?โ€

Little Maryโ€™s mouth fell open. Then she said to those around her, โ€œBoy, is she going to get in big trouble!โ€

The teacher continued to ignore her and said to the class, โ€œAnybody?โ€

Finally, Billy stood up, looked around nervously, and said, โ€œThe body part that increases 10 times its size when stimulated is the pupil of the eye.โ€

Mrs. Parks said, โ€œVery good, Billy,โ€ then turned to Mary and continued.

โ€œAs for you, young lady, I have three things to say: One, you have a dirty mind. Two, you didnโ€™t read your homework. And three, one day you are going to be very, very disappointed.โ€

Yo momma is so dumb that she couldn't even get three words into this joke. Maybe that's why she gave it a thumb's down...

Quote of the day: It's never too late to be what you wished you were. Hope y'all are having a great day! I just got back from a volleyball tournament that I had to be up at 5AM for! We played three games and won the last one. We advanced and are playing a few more tomorrow. Wish me and my team good luck!

There are Three Sons Journey Korean and Little Joe. They were trapped on a floating island and a priest gave them each one wish the first son wished to go back to the ground. The Second Son wished to go back to the ground. The third son was lonely and wished for his two brothers to come back to the floating island.

9 people walked into Bunnings Warehouse. 2 people bought plants. 3 people bought shovels. 1 person yelled. 3 people left Bunnings Warehouse. 1 person was me. I guess those three people are fired ๐Ÿ’โ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿคฆโ€โ™€๏ธ

A momma cow and three baby calves are on a farm. The first baby calf asks the momma cow, "Mom why is my name Rose?"

The mom responded, "Well you see, when were you born, a rose petal fell on your head."

The second one asks her, "Then why is my name Daisy?"

The mom chuckled and simply replied with, "When you were born, Daisy petals on your head."

The last one said, "DUH DUR SURH!"

The mom said, "SHUT UP, CINDER BLOCK!"

Three guys are escaping from North Korea through a tunnel. The guards know that they are coming and will shoot them with paintball guns as a warning. The guys show up and the guards shoot them. The guys die because the guards used real guns.

What does a ๐ŸŽฃ ๐ŸŽฃ ๐Ÿ‘จ ๐Ÿ‘จ man ๐Ÿ‘จ and a gay prostitute have in common with a physicality handicapped โ™ฟ bisexual man ๐Ÿ‘จ all three of them are very good at ๐Ÿ‘Œ ๐Ÿ˜Š โ˜บ ๐Ÿ˜€ ๐Ÿ‘ sucking your dick

So two cats, one English (named "One Two Three Cat") and one French (named Un Deux Trois Cat"), are walking through a forest and come across a river. To have a little fun, they decide to have a race across the river. One Two Three Cat swam across, and when he finished the race, he looked behind him. Un Deux Trois Cat was nowhere to be seen. So One Two Three Cat figured that Un Deux Trois Cat sank.