Thought Jokes

Gwen-Kind-Positive-Lends a Helping Hand- Stops Bullies- Does Most Helpful Work- Addison Banks- Positive Voicing-Stops Hurtful Words- ALYA-Powerful in Thought- Helps- But Sadly Is Gone- Prince-Always Backed Up Gwen- But Sadly Is Gone Too- watersharky-Helps When Needed-Backs Up Anyone- Curses When Needed- Helps People Through Depression-

These Are The Legends, There Are More Out There You Could Be One Too Just Lend a Helping Hand.

I don't ever really bother women, but when I do I usually just want to talk, I guess since I just so happened to be a straight male that's not a 10 or a 5 , I get shutdown so fast , I put out lit candles...like damn, I thought I hid my ring

yo dad is so hairy people chased him because they thought he was bigfoot.

Yo mamas teeth are so yellow kids thought they were mini school buses

Why did the Vampire put his son up for adoption? He thought his son sucked.

When your mom comes in at night then sees your... Sleeping, but sees something moving so she gets a chair and wacks it then she says" I thought it was a mouse 🐁"

The Drunk and a priest

On a bus, a priest sat next to a drunk who was struggling to read a newspaper.

Suddenly, with a slurred voice, the drunk asked the priest:

"Do you know what arthritis is?"

The parish priest soon thought of taking the opportunity to lecture the drunk and replied:

"It's a disease caused by sinful and unruly life: excess, consumption of alcohol, drugs, marijuana, crack, and certainly lost women, prostitutes, promiscuity, sex, binges and other things I dare not say."

The drunk widened his eyes, shut up and continued reading the newspaper.

A little later the priest, thinking that he had been too hard on the drunk, tried to soften:

"How long have you had arthritis?"

"I don't have arthritis! It says here in the paper that the Pope has it."

👖 👖 👖 👖 👖 👖 👖 👖 👖 👖👖 👖 👖👖 👖 👖 🔑 🏠 🤔 🙄why did the Polish Roman Catholic priest 👖 👖👖 👖👖👖 👖 removed zippers from the pants of 👬 gay men in the LGBT community? because he lost his key 🔑 to his house and he was desperate to get back 🙃 🙃 🙃 🙃 🙃 🙃 🙃 🙃 🏠 inside of his house and he thought that one of keys 🔑 🔑 🔑 🔑 🔑 🔑 🔑 🔑 🔑 🔑 🔑 🔑 🔑 🔑 🔑 🔑 🔑 to their zippers would be able to unlock the door 🚪 of his house 🏠 🙌 🙌 ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ 👍 👍 😁 😁 😁 😁 😊 😊 😊 😊 😃 😃 😆 😆 😄 😆 😄 😆 😳 😳 😳 😳 😳 😳 😳 😳 😳 😳 😳 😳 😳 😳 😳 😳 😳 😳 🤔 🤔 🤔 🤔 🤔 🤔 🤔 🤔 🤔 🤔 🤔 🤔 🤔 🤔 🤔 🤔 🤔 🥴 🥴 🥴 🥴 🥴 🥴 🥴 🥴 🥴 🥴 🥴 🥴 🥴 🥴 🥴 🥴 🥴 🥴

Why did the Orphan punch the other orphan?

Because the orphan broke his leg then had to get a retirement fund so then he farted and got 1m dollars in cash so then he started eating his toe jam and thought it tasted really good so he started selling it to taco bell then ate a cow all the sudden he was attacked by hangry aliens then game them some toe jam they loved it so they farted there way back up to space where they were eating Harold's fresh toe jam it was so good then one of the aliens ate there dog so had to go the dollar tree to get it out then started gagging on one of the aliens' 2 meter defeater and then the Orphan made out with the other Orphan and had a wedding at playground sharting happily ever after.

I got a chicken drum stick for lunch, thought I might DRUM up and appetite

Last week was my BLIND friend's birthday. I thought I would give him something really good that he may need. As I walk into his house and give him a cheese grader for a birthday present he sets it next to him. As weeks past he comes up to me. He said " That present that you gave me for my birthday was the most intense book I has ever read"