This jokes

One day, I was walking through a park when I realized it was crowded.

To this day, I still don't know who let the children out of my basement.

When I aim this trigger, it all goes red.

Do you have a bounty 'cause you got a "M" on your head?

I saw an ad that said, "By the time this ad is over, two identities would have been stolen." So, I did what I had to do and skipped the ad! You're welcome to the two people's identities I saved!

This is not really a joke, but it's a question.

If life is a movie, then is death life? Is we seeing the trailer right now?

Is there a really annoying girl at your school and she's so fake? Well, say this:

Me: Hey, I have a nickname for you.

Her: Really? What?

Me: Sweet-in-low.

Her: Why?

Me: Because you're artificial.

If I don't get a bf by the end of this month, Christmas lights won't be the only thing hanging from the roof.

When you are sitting outside at school and this boy comes up to you with a rock in his hand and says, "Do you know where Mrs. Stewart is at?"

So I'm reading Hamlet, right? And then this one page they like, "Yo, like, Hamlet the fuck t tgo foff off KING speak, yo" 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 truth ong fr 😂 Face with thing is funny or... 😂 😂 😂 😂 the

You have to tell this to a friend:

There are 30 cows in a field. 20 ate 28 chickens. How many didn't? A: 10

What does this website with its comments and a cult have in common?

We have a case of Witzelsucht.

What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?

This car in RC-XD.

When you are eating delicious street food in China and you ask the chef: You: "Is this chicken?" Chef: "No, its meow meow."

A student asked a teacher, "How do you pronounce this word? It's spelled A-L-L-I-E-D."

The teacher was about to answer, but then the student said, "Actually, I know how to pronounce it. I lied!" (allied)

A wife and husband go to a barn. The husband picks up a goat and says, “Look at this pig I have to sleep with every night.”

The wife says, “Honey, that’s a goat.”

The husband replies with, “I was talking to the goat.”

Wife: “I want another baby.”

Husband: “That’s a relief, I also really don’t like this one!”

Deku: Hey Todoroki, are you done with your Halloween costume?

Todoroki: Yes. *comes out in a macaroni outfit*

Deku: Wha- I'm todoroni.

Bakugo: OMFG, I'm out! *blows up UA*

Dad: Boy, come sit in this hole while I brace the ground.

Boy: I don't want to see Grandpa, he scares me!

(Phone call) This is Frank's funeral home and grill, where yesterday's grief is today's beef. How may we help you?

Say this to your significant other (or your weird friends!)

Are you an unsafe staircase? 'Cause you look like you could use a railing.

Think about how many more girls we guys could get if we talked to them how we talk to other guys, like when they say, "Can I borrow a pencil?" You say, "You can borrow this hard wood dick."