This jokes

Family

60 views ·

I was at a friend's place yesterday, and... There was a mother, father, three sons, and a daughter.

That night the mother and father started fucking each other. I yelled and told them there are innocent children in this house.

An hour later, they started up again. I walked to their room and they were asleep, so I looked in the brothers' room and all three brothers were fucking the sister.

I sighed at this. "Incest aside, you guys make a cute family." I started, "So Anna, when am I gonna have nieces and nephews?" They stopped instantly and went to sleep. "Thank you," I replied before walking back to my room they let me sleep in and I passed out for the rest of the night.

Bus Driver

11 views ·

A guy on a bus saw a beautiful girl. He asked for her number, and of course, she said no. He asked the bus driver for advice, and he said, "That girl goes to the cemetery to pray every day at 10 p.m. and look for a statue of an angel." So he dresses up as God, goes to the grave, and she sees him. She says, "Oh, Lord, end my misery! Kill me now!" And he said, "Only if you do something for me first." She replied, "What is it, oh mighty Lord?" He said, "Have sex with me." She agreed. They had sex, and when she was done sucking his dick, he said, "I have something to tell you." He took off his costume and said, "I'm the guy from the bus." And she took off her costume: "I'm the bus driver."

(Does anyone remember this? It's an old joke someone made, or does no one remember this? I didn't make this, but it went smth like this)

Cannibal

185 views ·

Imagine this... you're a lesbian, and you're doing it with your cannibal girlfriend. You say, "Eat me, baby!"

She pulls out a knife and fork.

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  • Plane

    8 views ·

    A plane is about to crash into the ocean, and the passengers are freaking out.

    A woman stands up, takes off her clothes, and says, "Before I go, is there a man man enough to make me feel like a woman?"

    A man stands up, takes off his shirt, and says, "Here, iron this!"

    Orphan

    3 views ·

    A kid goes into a restaurant without parents, and a waitress came up and said, "You have to leave; this is a family restaurant."

    Piece

    5 views ·

    I wrote puns on a piece of paper like this:

    P. P. P. P. U. U. U. U. N. N. N. N. S. S. S. S.

    Then I showed them to my teacher, asking him what they had in common.

    “They are all very tearable,” he replied.

    Well, there is one person who gets it!

    Fridge

    7 views ·

    My husband left a note on the fridge that said, “This isn’t working.”

    I'm not sure what he's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it’s working fine? Anyone know what he means?

    Comment

    3 views ·

    You guys, this is my last time publishing something here. You guys have been sending rude comments, and I need to work on my mental health. Goodbye.

    Child

    2 views ·

    Sometimes I have this incredible urge to grab a child from school and yell, "I'm you from the future!"

    Haircut

    29 views ·

    So this guy named Andrew Furda was my boyfriend for like a half a week, so five days. Then bam, I cut my hair. He only liked me for my looks, and I hoped he regrets it because it is WAR, so if you see this, you're going down, Andrew!

    Dad

    1 view ·

    This 15-year-old girl wanted a cross on her room with a long nail on the end over her bed. Unfortunately, it killed her dad because it fell off the wall.

    (Do you get the joke?)

    (Her dad was on her, and it fell and killed him.)

    Orphan

    5 views ·

    Why do orphans that go to their friend's house get this reaction from the friend's mom:

    "Go back to your house, it's late." "Finn, wait, can I have your mom's phone number?" "Finn, wait, aren't you an orphan?" "Wait, don't you have a phone, Finn?" "Wait, I forgot, you don't have a phone because nobody wanted to get you a phone or to get you."

    Midget

    27 views ·

    I walked out of the electronic store and saw a midget carrying a big screen TV all by himself. He looked like he needed a hand, so I offered to help.

    He said, "This is not a big screen TV, it's a Kindle!!"

    Suicide

    35 views ·

    A priest sees a man about to commit suicide. The man says, "I have nothing to live for here. I will die, go to Heaven, and get 72 virgins." Then the priest says, "No need for this. I will take you to the local elementary school."