This jokes

Food

  • Food makers are proudly presenting human flesh-made foods. Donate your useless friends and family to us because we're saving lives.

    T and C apply. This is only in the best shops in your town, or down the road, or in your country. 1 like = 1 family member donated 'cause we're saving lives😎😎

    Boy

  • A young orphan boy goes to school for the first time. A bigger boy comes and punches him. He says, "What are you gonna do, cry to your mommy?" The boy cries.

    Next morning, he wakes up and comes to school. The same thing happens, but the older boy brings his friends. This time, after he says, "You gonna tell your mom?", the little boy says, "Yes, I will tell them that there is company coming over."

    Internet

  • I am sorry, but I can only provide joke information extracted from joke text. This post only contains a link.

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  • Girl

  • One day I was at school, and this girl had the nerve. She told me to go to the back of the line. I was looking behind me, and she said, "What are you looking for?" I said, "To who [are] you talking to, boo boo?" Like, is you you my momma?

    Bigfoot

  • So, I was walking down the path of my life with Bigfoot, noticing the two pairs of footprints, mine and his.

    One day, I notice his prints are gone. I look up to him and say, "You had promised you would always be there for me. How is this possible?"

    He then looks me straight in the eyes and says, "Raw!"

  • 1
  • Arson

  • Why is arson so fun?

    IT'S A FIRE ACTIVITY!

    HAHAHAHAHAHAPAHAAHAHIIRTAASIISISISHRNHHTHTHTHHNHSHSNIHTAHE

    Day 83 of being trapped in þis room. I made a language. I call it hertof. I speak wiþ þe walls now.

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  • People

  • At least 32 people hate orphan jokes.

    And I thank all the people who participate in this protest.

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  • Frog

  • What is Green and Red and goes round and round?

    A frog in a blender.

    (this next one is pretty bad, and I don't mean it, so don't get offended)

    What's the difference between a Mexican and a park bench?

    One can support an average family.

  • 1
  • Vacation

  • One day I was very happy. I managed to win the lottery and receive a free vacation trip to Saudi Arabia!

    Everything was going well until suddenly the FRAUD appeared! It was him, PRISTIANO PENALDO! He dived toward me and grabbed my lottery ticket. I asked him why he is doing this, only for him to reply "I need trip to Saudi Arabia to statpad the PENS!" as he dived back through my window.

    Shame on you for stealing my vacation and ruining my day! You are no longer my Idol Pristianooooo!

  • 1
  • Drunk

  • A man who drinks a lot is told by his wife that if he ever gets drunk again she will leave him.

    Later, the man goes to a pub and drinks a lot and throws up all down his jacket. 'Oh no,' he says to his friend, 'if I go home like this again, my wife will leave me.' 'Don't worry,' his friend says. 'Put a £20 note in your jacket pocket. When your wife challenges you, produce the money and say another man threw up on you and gave you the £20 note for the dry cleaning.' 'Brilliant!' the man says and goes home. He walks through his front door and his wife sees him. She is furious. 'No no,' the man says, producing the money from his inside pocket. 'A man threw up on me and gave me £20 for the dry cleaning.' 'What's the other £20 note for?' asks his wife. 'Ah, that's from the man who shat in my pants.....'

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  • Clown

  • Most people say I'm a clown. Yet they don't laugh at my jokes. Most people avoid me because I'm a "clown". Yet I'm not the center of the circus. But I know I'm gonna be a clown forever. Because I can't take this damn mask off, no matter how hard I try.

    Weeks later: Finally I found out why I'm being called a clown...because my smiling face is fake...

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  • Restaurant

  • If someone calls you, just say:

    "This is Peter's abortion clinic and pizza restaurant, where yesterday's loss is today's sauce!"

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  • Porn star

  • Hi, my name is Meer Adnan Hussain. I am a Muslim. I live in Karachi, an area of Pakistan. I want this job. I am interested in this work. Please take me in this work. Your porn star, Meer Adnan Hussain. Wait for your email. Okay.

  • 0
  • Midget

  • This midget in my school has two moms. I said, "Did your dad go get the milk?" He told me to shut up. I said, "I don’t shut up, I grow up like you should."

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  • Tibia

  • I tried my best to think of some puns, but I'm gonna have tibia honest: I don't have any puns left, but I'm pretty sternum, so I'll think of a few puns here and there. It took a lot of spine to do this.

  • 1
  • Bunny

  • This bunny named Mason came up to a bar and ordered a beer and a burger. He sits at a table and the waiter brought a huge burger.

    Mason: "Heh. Good thing I eat like a horse." He looks up at the waiter.

    Waiter: "You are a nasty little bunny, aren't you?"

    Mason screamed and ran away as the waiter chased him... she was a HORSE.

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  • Life

  • Today I explain what things are fake: serial killers, clowns, Billy, fairies, your life, God, Jesus, your mom, and all your crappy fan-fictions about being saved from your even crappier life.

    I'm also gonna explain real stuff: YouTube, your dad, scientists, teachers, God, Jesus, and Billy.

    Stuff on both is real and fake depending on who you are. Your life IS fake. A lot of idiots will read this.

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