This jokes

Deaf people

121 views ·

Dear Hearing People,

We, deaf people, ain’t dead. We can use our hands to talk, eat & fist your face to give you some 💡 awareness that we can understand you 💯 meanwhile we laugh at you 🤡 We can even dance via vibration through music.

Do you know the song w lyric like this 👇 *white b.... accent: Ohhh.. MY God BECKY.. L👀k at her butt. IT is SO BIG. *BIG BEAT DROP* I...LIKE...BIG...BUTT...I cannot LIE 👻 I promise we ain’t ghosting around - Brittany Rose.

Wife

28 views ·

Wife: Stop telling rape jokes, it's not funny. Husband: Who raped you this morning?

Child

6 views ·

I have a brother and he told me this quote, "No wonder they had a second child, they messed up on the first one." He’s the second child... I’m the first...

Cheese

6 views ·

What did one cheese say to the other cheese?

"Hello, it's a nice day, do you have any plans on what you're going to do?"... The other cheese was taken back by his politeness and friendliness, they agreed to meet again, and were soon married and lived happily ever after. Let this tale of the two cheeses inspire you to be a better person.

News

After a long labor, a doctor approaches the new mother and says, “Ma’am, I’ve got some good news and some bad news. What would you like?” After quickly thinking it over, she responds, “I’ll have the bad news first, doctor.”

The doctor replies, “Well, I’m not sure how to put this, and I’m sorry to have to tell you, your child has red hair.”

Relieved, a smile spreads across the mother’s face. “Doctor, if that’s the bad news, what’s the good news?” The doctor replies, “He’s dead.”

Girl

5 views ·

This Chinese girl didn't know what a sausage roll was, so I replied, "It's like a spring roll with sausage in it, but not any dog or cat how you have it."

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  • Hotdog

    9 views ·

    One day my sister was making hotdogs. My sister asked me if I wanted some. I said no. Then my sister asked my friend, and he always said no.

    Then my sister said I have to eat it plain with no flavor. We have no ketchup, mustard, or onions. My friend said I got something to give it flavor. My sister said, "Okay."

    My sister left the kitchen to get something. I asked my friend what are you going to do. Then he took the hotdog bread, opened it, and ran his penis all around it, and put some white cream that came out of his penis. I put the hotdogs on the bread. Then my sister came back and put hotdogs on the hotdog bread. I told my sister the hotdogs are ready. She ate them. I asked how were the hotdogs. My sister said, "I don’t know what flavor is this, but it is very tasty."

    Ocean

    What does the ocean do to its friends?

    It waves.

    (*Sorry I wasn't making any jokes for a while, I was getting sick of this thing.*)

    Rape

    12 views ·

    Please, this is disgusting. This is only men who think that it’s fun to do jokes about rape. It’s really fucking dramatic for a man/woman to get raped, so please just shut the fuck up!

    Weight

    2 views ·

    My "overweight" friend and I were talking at lunch.

    Overweight friend: Man, why you so ugly, dude?

    Me: *annoyed* Jason, when you stepped on the scale this morning, it asked for your weight, not your phone number.

    Monkey

    3 views ·

    If you're reading this right now, Then the joke's on you, Because I'm right behind ya, mothafucka!

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I'm laughing because you look like a monkey.

    No, seriously,

    I'm right behind ya.

    Pill

    25 views ·

    Jack and Jill went up the hill to start to build the still for Jill.

    Jack stopped and said to drunkin' Jill, "To build this still will take so long."

    Jill said to Jack, "Well, f--k the still and kiss my ass, and watch me take another pill!"

    Puppy

    8 views ·

    My wife asked me to get her a puppy. I agreed and went to an animal shelter. As I was searching for a puppy, a fire was set, and the entire animal shelter burned down.

    A few hours later, I returned to my wife. She knew I had no puppies and asked why. I replied, "I couldn't find any." She understood but was upset, so I gave her something that I did get. She said, "Wow! This is good, what smokehouse did you get this at?"