Think jokes
I always think that percussions are golden, but cheeks are brass.
If you think about it, the 9/11 memorial is literally just a scoreboard.
How is toilet paper recycled?
Easier than you would think, but first they have to process the crap out of it.
When you think of the word "simp," you think of a girl. "Girl" stands for ghosts in real life. Another word for simp is "ding dong." Put them together, and you get ghosts in real life with ding dongs.
If you've been thinking about singing karaoke with a friend, just duet.
I always feel better when my doctor says something is normal for my age, but then think dying will also be normal for my age at some point.
Think like a proton--stay positive!
What did chemical 1 say to chemical 2?
"I think you're overreacting."
Trump cut funding for Sesame Street.
I think he's jealous that the characters on Sesame Street can count to 10.
After 6 months of lockdown,
I was thinking a bit about Bin Laden. He stayed at home with 3 wives for 5 years. I'm beginning to suspect he called the Navy Seals himself.
Peter Griffin walks into a bar.
Peter Griffin walks into a bar.
Peter Griffin walks into a bar.
I think I may have forgotten the rest of the joke.
If you ever think no one cares about you,
kill someone, then the news will.
I think I would like a job cleaning mirrors. It's just something I could really see myself doing.
Bro, you ever think while driving the moped why they call it a footrest when the foot never lets it rest? The foot is working harder than the engine. You push, push, but still go the same speed like a turtle with a bad mood during a rabbit race...
Your forehead is so big, you think in 4K.
My boyfriend is just like a sexy nerd and I still have to ask him things like that because I'm so distracted from him.
Mom: It's time for sleep.
Baby: Is that what you think, huh?
Mom: *gives baby pacifier*
Baby: Nice try, hobo.
Mom: Well, I'll come back later to see if he's gone asleep.
*few hours later*
Baby: *still awake*
Mom: Why IS HE NOT ASLEEP?!
Baby: Lol, I told you nice try haha.
Some dude: Water you thinking?
Me: You're drowning in my head.
Do you think Mars prefers Sour Orbiters sweet?
Orbiter: "Or bitter?"
Guys, can we change pride month to another month, please? My birthday is in June, and I'm not gay, and my friends keep making fun of me. I think we should change it to March because my brother's birthday is in March, and that'd be funny.