Think

Think jokes

Airplane

  • You think on a airplane when a muslim guy gets on, people look at him and think... "Aw, fuck."

  • 1
  • Sentence

  • Fritzchen was supposed to remember three sentences. He asks his mother, "Mom, do you have any news?" The mother replies angrily, "Stop it!"

    Fritzchen goes to see his father, who is watching a football match. When a goal is scored, he shouts, "That's it!"

    Finally, he asks his sister, "Sister, do you have anything to say?" She is currently reading a story about a fool and says, "He is the dumbest person in the world!"

    The next day at school, the teacher asks, "Fritzchen, did you learn the phrases?" Fritzchen replies, "Stop it!" The teacher is shocked: "Fritzchen! Don't say that to me. Go to the principal immediately!" Fritzchen shouts, "That's it!" Arriving at the principal's office, he asks, "Who do you think I am?" Fritzchen promptly replies, "He's the dumbest person in the world!"

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  • Homework

  • The teacher says to do your homework. I do. My friends do. One person never does any of his homework.

    Eventually, we had to have fun. He said he didn't do it. WOW what did he do? I like to think he got smacked and nearly committed suicide.

    Blonde

  • A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. They come across an old shack with three burlap sacks. They each hop into one of them. The police come and kick the one with the brunette in it. She goes, "Mew, mew." The police say, "Oh, it's just a bag of kittens." Then they kick the one with the redhead. "Woof, woof." They think, "Oh, it's just a bag of puppies." Then they kick the one with the blonde in it. She goes, "POTATOES!!" And gets arrested.

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  • Catholic

  • I always hated being born a Catholic as a kid. The way you have to keep kneeling down, bending over, and standing up all within a few minutes of each other while at church. I was always thinking, “For God’s sake, just pick a position and fuck me!”

  • 0
  • Username

  • Have you ever heard of Katie? Please come to KatieJennieJackson on Reddit. Her username is ok-community-2373.

    My username is Big-reflection-104. C0mments from so other redditors are from her post:

    Hello :). On sexy tummies. Where she is wearing a black croptop.

    Are in the next post.

    Moto is: Katie Jennie Jackson is so horny! Reddit username-Ok-community-2373. Follow her please. Her photos are made for you to cum for her, not at her. Thank you if you chose to think.

    Sausage

  • Guy 1: Why is my cat so angry?

    Guy 2: Because she wants to eat your big sausage.

    Guy 1: Don't you?

    Guy 2: Yeah, it seems delicious.

    Guy 1: Mmm, so... w-wait what are you doing? I didn't think you meant the one in my lunch :< Where are you leaving #_#

    **Meow...**

    Guy 1: Shut up, I will never feed you this sausage. It's not for you :< -_- </3

  • 0
  • Train

  • Little Johnny got a train set for Christmas. He takes it around the circle, parks it at the station, and says, "Alright, you motherfuckers get off here, and you motherfuckers get off here." His mom comes rushing in and says, "Little Johnny, we don’t use that kind of language, go to your room and think about what you did!"

    After a few hours, she lets him out of his room. He goes back to play with his train set. He takes it around the circle, parks it at the station, and says, "Okay, you guys get off here, and you guys get off here. And if you have any complaints about the two hour delay, take it up with the bitch in the kitchen."

  • 1
  • Mama

  • Your mama is so fat that when she wears yellow, kids run after her thinking they missed the school bus.

  • 17
  • Doctor

  • Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains! Well, pull yourself together, then.

    Doctor, doctor! My brother's crazy! He thinks he's a chicken. Is he egging around? Yes, but we need to get the eggs.

    Woman: Doctor, doctor! I keep thinking I'm an elephant! Doctor: Run around the room. Then the woman stomps around the room and breaks things.

    Doctor, doctor! I fell like a bell! Shall I ring you, then? When can you ring me up?

    Doctor, doctor! I have a ball stuck in my throat! Shall I bat it and get a run, then?

  • 0
  • Green Card

  • An ICE agent tells a Mexican that he can get his green card if he can use green, pink, and yellow correctly in a sentence. The Mexican thinks for a minute and says, "My phone goes green, green, and I pink it up and say yellow."

  • 1
  • Tricycle

  • A couple and their friends were riding their tricycle, and one wheel fell off. They discussed what to do, and finally the friend said, "Why don't you just use me?" The boyfriend said, "Why did I not think of using the third wheel?"

  • 0
  • Song

  • I'm going to do a song that's called "Falling" by Trevor Daniel... so here it goes.

    My last made me feel like I would never try again But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt Come closer, I'll give you all my love If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything My last made me feel like I would never try again But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt Come closer, I'll give you all my love If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything Talk to me, I need to hear you need me like I need ya Fall for me, I wanna know you feel how I feel for you, love Before you, baby, I was numb, drowned out pain by pouring up Speeding fast on the run, never want to get caught up Now you the one that I'm calling Swore that I'd never fall again, don't think I'm just talking I think I might go all in, no exceptions, girl, I need ya Think I'm out of my mind, 'cause I can't get enough Only one that I give my time, 'cause I got eyes for ya Might make an exception for ya, 'cause I been feeling ya Think I might be out of my mind, I think that you're the one My last made me feel like I would never try again But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt Come closer, I'll give you all my love If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything My last made me feel like I would never try again But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt Come closer, I'll give you all my love If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything I'll never give my all again 'Cause I'm sick of falling down When I open up and give my trust They find a way to break it down Tear me up inside, and you break me down.

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