Think jokes
People always often say to someone who are thinking about suicide that's the easy way out. Don't give up! All I say is I'm not giving up, just I'm giving in, and does it really seem like it's the easiest way out? I don't think so, it's probably the hardest if you ask me, or I would have done it already, but someone's got to do it.
Person 1: "I love KFC."
Person 2: "Yeah, me too!"
Person 1: "How many have you gotten?"
Person 2: "How am I supposed to remember how many buckets of chicken I have ordered!?"
Person 1: "Chicken? What chicken? What do you think KFC stands for?"
Person 2: "Kentucky Fried Chicken?"
Person 1: "What? I thought it meant kidnapping foster children."
Person 2: "BLOODY WHATT??"
A doctor is at a bar one night and notices a young lady at the counter. He approaches her and says, "Hello there miss, pardon my intrusion, but I was curious to know, if someone were to pay you a million dollars to sleep with them, would you?"
The young lady smiles and says, "That's a lot of money, of course, I would."
The doctor smiles and says, "That's interesting, but what if someone were to pay you 5 dollars to sleep with them, would you?"
The young lady says, "What, are you joking? That's no money at all. Of course, I wouldn't. What do you think I am?"
The Doctor smiles again and says, "We already established what you are, now we're trying to establish a price."
But she hasn't tried the position with her new boyfriend, so she invites him to a romantic dinner.
After dinner, she tells her boyfriend about her desire for it, but her boyfriend was clueless about such acts, so she tells him to strip naked on the couch and lay on top of him naked in the 69 position. She starts sucking him off and starts waiting for him to do the same, but the bf didn't know what to do, so he just lay there. Suddenly, the girl had an urge to fart but held it in because her asshole was right near his bf's face. Suddenly, she loses control and lets one out. She apologizes profusely and continues sucking him. A couple of minutes later, she feels the urge again and lets another fart rip near his face. The BF throws the girl from the couch, gets up, and says, "Bitch if you think I'll be lying here for 67 more of those, you're fucking crazy."
If you think long and hard, oral sex is like cannibals.
If you think the guy calling you fat is offensive,
Try salad 🥗.
A man who thinks he's funny but is actually a transvestite/transformer.
When you ask your friend if he thinks lunch is good, but he says that he doesn't taste anything.
I would make a joke about Kobe, but I don't think it would fly very well.
I can't think of any jokes.
Like if you think someone is gay.
If you think no one cares about you, stop paying your taxes.
I have a joke about death.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Think about it :)
My boyfriend thinks he’s hilarious.
Him: How do you break things?
Me: You break things up.
Him: Okay.
Me: Is everything okay?
Him: We’re a twig. We’re breaking up.
What time do you think dogs are not happy?
Bulldogs.
Joe Biden is the first president in history to have a vice president on record claiming they believed sexual harassment allegations against him.
I don't know about you, but I think that's a pretty big elephant in the room!
What's the difference between a dead baby in my trash can and a discarded sex toy?
...
I'm still trying to think of an answer.
Why did the people think Stephen Hawking was disrespectful?
'Cause he didn't stand up for the national anthem.
Sad to think about legend O.G. Mudbone being no longer with us.
I’m only curious how they closed his casket.
ICE and ISIS have similar first syllables. Coincidence? I think not!