Think

Think jokes

KFC

    • Person 1: "I love KFC."

    Person 2: "Yeah, me too!"

    Person 1: "How many have you gotten?"

    Person 2: "How am I supposed to remember how many buckets of chicken I have ordered!?"

    Person 1: "Chicken? What chicken? What do you think KFC stands for?"

    Person 2: "Kentucky Fried Chicken?"

    Person 1: "What? I thought it meant kidnapping foster children."

    Person 2: "BLOODY WHATT??"

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    • Doctor

    • A doctor is at a bar one night and notices a young lady at the counter. He approaches her and says, "Hello there miss, pardon my intrusion, but I was curious to know, if someone were to pay you a million dollars to sleep with them, would you?"

    The young lady smiles and says, "That's a lot of money, of course, I would."

    The doctor smiles and says, "That's interesting, but what if someone were to pay you 5 dollars to sleep with them, would you?"

    The young lady says, "What, are you joking? That's no money at all. Of course, I wouldn't. What do you think I am?"

    The Doctor smiles again and says, "We already established what you are, now we're trying to establish a price."

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    • Hell

    • A guy dies and finds himself in Hell. Despondent, he sits on the ground and weeps uncontrollably.

    Demon: "Why so sad, my friend?"

    Guy: "What do you think? I'm in hell!"

    Demon: "Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinkin' man?"

    Guy: "Sure, I love to drink."

    Demon: "Well, you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays, that's all we do, is drink. Whiskey, tequila, vodka, beer... We drink till we throw up and then drink some more."

    Guy: "Gee, that sounds great!"

    Demon: "You a smoker?"

    Guy: "You better believe it."

    Demon: "Alright! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from around the world and smoke our fucking lungs out. If you get cancer, it's ok, you're already dead!"

    Guy: "Golly."

    Demon: "I bet you like to gamble."

    Guy: "Yes, as a matter of fact, I do."

    Demon: "Good, because Wednesday is gambling day. Craps, blackjack, horse races, you name it."

    Guy: "Wow."

    Demon: "You like to do drugs?"

    Guy: "Well, I love to do drugs. You don't mean..."

    Demon: "That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack. Smoke a joint the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want, and if you overdose, it's ok... You're already dead!"

    Guy: "Neat! I never realized hell was such a swingin' place!"

    Demon: "You gay?"

    Guy: "Uh, no."

    Demon: "Ohhh... You're gonna hate Fridays...."

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    • Fart

    • But she hasn't tried the position with her new boyfriend, so she invites him to a romantic dinner.

    After dinner, she tells her boyfriend about her desire for it, but her boyfriend was clueless about such acts, so she tells him to strip naked on the couch and lay on top of him naked in the 69 position. She starts sucking him off and starts waiting for him to do the same, but the bf didn't know what to do, so he just lay there. Suddenly, the girl had an urge to fart but held it in because her asshole was right near his bf's face. Suddenly, she loses control and lets one out. She apologizes profusely and continues sucking him. A couple of minutes later, she feels the urge again and lets another fart rip near his face. The BF throws the girl from the couch, gets up, and says, "Bitch if you think I'll be lying here for 67 more of those, you're fucking crazy."

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    • Think memes

    Taste

    • When you ask your friend if he thinks lunch is good, but he says that he doesn't taste anything.

    Boyfriend

    • My boyfriend thinks he’s hilarious.

    Him: How do you break things?

    Me: You break things up.

    Him: Okay.

    Me: Is everything okay?

    Him: We’re a twig. We’re breaking up.

    President

    • Joe Biden is the first president in history to have a vice president on record claiming they believed sexual harassment allegations against him.

    I don't know about you, but I think that's a pretty big elephant in the room!

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