Think Jokes

when you suffer from deppresion and some tells you to just cheer up god damn why didnt i think of that

yo mama so ugly that when she went through a face id it didn't think she was human

A little riddle ... Trump has it short, Kennedy has it long, the Pope has it but he doesn't use it, what is it? *time passes ... Obviously the Surname, what are you thinking about you pervert?

I think ppl should date orphans cuz their parents are never home.

You might think these jokes are plane

An ugly arrogant woman walked into a store with her 2 kids, yelling at them.

The store clerk pleasantly said, "Good morning ma'am and welcome. Nice children, are they twins?"

The ugly woman stopped yelling and said, "Hell no they are not, one is 9 and the other is 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins, Are you blind, or just bloody stupid?"

The clerk replied, "I'm neither blind nor stupid ma'am, I just can't believe someone would screw you twice,"

Business Interview With Depression Inside my brain...

Me: So... You're new? Depression: (I don't know who he is yet) mHMMMmmm! Me: Well what are your skills? Depression: Oh, taking control and leading... You know... Me: What are you trying out for? Depression: Oh, Vice Leader of Negative Thoughts. Me: Well we do need someone over there- for somewhat reason nobody wanted that job... Me: How did you know about us? Depression: Oh- I knew because of Anxiety, you know, we're friends! Me: Interesting... (Still has no idea about Anxiety and it's problemos) Me: Well I think you're signed up! I'll give you the job! Depression: tHaNKS :)

AND THATS HOW MY LIFE GOT DESTROYED :]

What is the scariest thing you'll ever see in your life? James Charles thinking he has rights.

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a ravishing blonde and an old lady are sharing a compartment on a train as it winds its way through the Alps. Every now and then the train passes through a tunnel, during which time the compartment is plunged into complete darkness. On one such occasion, a ringing slap is heard and as the train passes back into daylight, the Frenchman is rubbing his sore, red cheek.

The old lady thinks, "I bet that dirty Frenchman fondled the blonde and she struck the pervert."

The blonde thinks, "I bet that filthy Frenchman was looking to grope me in the dark, mistook the old lady for me and she slapped him."

The Frenchman thinks, "I bet that perfidious Englishman touched up the blonde in the dark and she slapped me by mistake."

The Englishman thinks, "I can't wait for another tunnel so I can slap that French twat again."

according to all known laws of aviation, a bee should not be able to fly, it wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. but of course, bees fly anyway because bees don't care about what humans think is impossible, Yellow, Black. Yellow, Black

I respect anyone who devotes there life to charity work

But I think Paul walker went a step to far

Me: John what did he do earlier

John: hold on, I’m trying to think

Me: I thought I smelled poop

Did you hear they think Michael Jackson died from food poisoning, he ate 12 year old nuts and a 13 year old wiener

I remember my uncles last words: "I don't think were going shooting today."

Today my mom gave me a lecture on how to stay safe during school shootings and when my brother walked past my mom asked me a question "what do you think of going through kids heads during a school shooting " That's when my brother came back downstairs and said to me and my mom "bullets" we don't talk about this anymore

I think my dads gay bc he goes out with his mates to get milk but never returns

Everyone always has a special person in there life someday, but I think yours got ran over by a bus

What do you call a dinosaur with good eyesight............do you think he saw us

When I was little I used to think that the people in cartoons were real people..until I turned 7 I realized that it was just people doing voices..sad isnt it