What did the emo say to the popular kid?
Go fuck yourself for thinking all emos cut becasue they don't.. yk for a matter of fact fuck all you guys..
"UR Grandma" You think you're funny? Well, sorry. But ur not.
Sonic says... April 1st is the best day do a school shooting they will think it’s a joke 😃
Some girl just walks into my 6th period geography class. The first think I think is, "Oh shit! It's mini Regina George without titties!"
what does a pregnant 14 year old and her foetus? theyre both thinking; oh sh@t my moms gonna kill me!
so a kid was hanging out with his mom and this man comes up to him and said hi i'm your new dad the kid did not think about it and then he did and said but i already have a dad the mom said that was not your real dad
My brother thinks hes cool when he just SMELLS
What were the terrorists on 9/11 thinking?
"We can't go over it." "Can't go under it." "We have to go through it!"
1 minute silence for those who still think thoughts can't kill you.
ok this isn't a joke but it's funny.
Roses are red, nuts are brown, Skirts go up, pants go down. Body to body, skin to skin, when it's stiff, stick it in. It goes in dry, comes out wet, the longer it's in, the stronger it gets. It comes out dripping and starts to sag, It's not what you think, it's a lipton tea bag.
Get your mind out of the gutter.
I wrote a few jokes:
What does a 15-year-old boy do without two hands when his parents are not at home? Well, obviously do not jerk off
yesterday a girl from my job invited me to her home and there I had crazy sex I could not think that her mother is so hot
what will happen the morning after the destruction of humanity? Duncan MacLeod makes himself breakfast
Bitches do be so flat you would think they have Brest cancer
You never think of how people will react to an event, my friend gets discounts at any store he goes to.
A guy is at his locker and a girl comes and says hey i love you and the he says ok cool she then replies and says well what do you think about are love he says count the stars and then she says oh infinity and he replies with nope its just a waste of time
There is this fish, and this fish thinks if that fly drops 6 inches , I’m gonna jump out the water and eat that fucking fish !
Then there is a bear , he thinks if that fly drops six inches , that fish jumps up - I’m gonna run out there and eat that fucking fish !
This huntsman also thinks to him self 🧐 if that fly drops six inches , fish jumps up , bear runs out eats the fish . I’m gonna shoot that fucking bear .
Unbelievably there is a tiny little brave mouse , who also thinks to him self 🧐 if that fly drops six inches , fish jumps , bear runs , huntsman shoots ,
He’s bound to drop that cheese sandwich in his back pocket !!!!
I’m gonna eat that fucking cheese sandwich!!
Meanwhile ..,
there’s This cat !!!’ He sees what’s going on - if they fly drops six inches -the fish =bear =huntsman =mouse eating the cheese sarnie....
Easy pickings ...
Anyway bang 💥 the fly drops six inches . Fish jumps up . Bear grabs the fish . Huntsman shoots the fucking bear ,
DROPS HIS CHEESE SARNIE !!
Cat runs after mouse trying to get the cheese sarnie
The cat Slips over him ( stacks it ) cat falls in the river ...
LONG STORY I KNOW BUT THE MORAL OF THE STORY IS .............
every time a fly drops six inches a pussy get wet )
WALLOP ... try remembering all that in A pub pissed . Xx
So there's Fred and Frank, now they've been 2 friends for years, but Fred see he's depressed. Badly. Either way, so F+F are texting each other and here's how is goes: (this is my first joke, so please don't judge to harshly)
Frank: Yo Fred: hi... Frank: u heard about de competition? Fred: yeah.... Frank: You wanna hang out? Fred: ....... Frank: what? I've got some noose (news) for you Fred: ... I( Frank: fine.... I guess we need to think of a plan tho. We don't wanna be hanging on the end. Fred: *sigh* you know....you really can't rope me into this competition.
when i shit in the toliet i think that if shit hard anuff I can see my asshole plug.
New teacher:everyone stand up if u think you are stupid.
Student: stands up
Teacher: why did u stand up?
Student: I hate seeing u stand up there by yourself
Thomas Montgomery would eat his fillet of fish in bed every night. He had fillet of fish bedding and everything. His roommates always asked him, why are you eating your fillet of fish in bed. He wouldn't reply. His family took him to the best psychologist in the field. Thomas continued emptying his bank account on fillet of fish to eat in bed. His friend said one day , took a picture of Thomas and told him to say cheese. They laughed and went there separate ways. Then in bed that night , Thomas kept on thinking to himself I never said cheese before someone snapt my picture. He repeated it again. The next day he thanked his friend fillet in him feel better.
Who do you think is the fastest reader? Incorrect. It's 9/11. It went through 100 stories in 2 seconds.
