I’m on top of things. Would you like to be one of them?
what's the same thing between a baby and a grenade they both make a sound when thrown
The one thing I love about Steven is he stood up for all of his haters. Just kidding.
what's the second worst thing to happen to orphans? they can't have sex. "why?" because they don't have anyone to call mommy or daddy.
What did one tree say to another in a crisis? Don't leaf me when things get bad.
What's the last thing Asians hear from their parents? My money is my money. Your money is my money. Your wife's money is my money. Always remember that son.
Why are carpenters never horny after work? Because they’ve already spent all day getting hammered and nailing things
What would be a pets favorite thing to click on on this website?
Cat-egories.
Get it?
You need a good place to think? You can sit on my lap, and we’ll see the first thing that pops up!
An American mother has 3 children. The first child asked his mum: 'Why is my sister caleed Crasy horse and my brother Rushing water?' Mum: Because those were the first thing I saw after i gave birth to them. Why are you asking all these questions 2 dogs fucking?
What was one cool thing about hitler
he used to paint his thoughts on the wall with a gun
What is the weirdest thing to wear and what is weirdest thing to say. Weirdest thing to ware: Socks with sandals, also with flip flops! Weirdest thing to say: "Would you rather be a bath or a toilet?" "The blue angel sea slug looks like an alien." (weird). Bonus: Things to ware with other things: Crop top with t-shirt(really hip), Crop top with tights or shorts, dresses with tights! (Cool) Oh well byeeeeeee!
What was the last thing that went through the 9/11 jumpers heads?
Their ankles.
What was the last thing to go through the terrorist's mind? The detonator.
Why can't all things learn about ancient Egypt because they don't know what a mummy is
My boyfriend thinks he’s hilarious Him: How do you break things Me: you break things up Him: okay Me: is everything okay Him: were a twig. We’re breaking up
Why do orphans hate Christmas? Father Christmas isn’t a thing.