Things Jokes

I was a orphan as a kid and Im pretty sure my favorite thing was seeing parents with their kids I think we know why

What did the screw say to the screw, We sure screwed things up

I saw a dad shaved his daughters head because she made fun of a woman with cancer. Good thing she didn’t make fun of a pregnant women🤭

Whats the best thing about a orphan GF

You don't have to meet her parents

Q. What’s a good thing about a child molesters A. They drive slow through school zones

Why do orphans play tennis because that's the only thing they loved

What do you call a wild cow in a shop with old things?

A bull in a china shop.

If museums are full of dead things...

Then why aren't there any memes inside them?

a surgeon loses his job as he botched a surgery

boss: "we have to let you go."

surgeon: "I protest innocence."

boss: "how?"

surgeon: "I thought to do your job and saving people's lives were two different things."

boss: "get out"

One afternoon, a man was walking to a bar after work. Across the street, an Irish nun stood there waving her arms at the man. "Look at this poor drunkard! The Lord does not love him! He will be sent to Hell!" the nun shouted. The man walked over to the nun. "Hey! I had a hard day at work! I was going to get ONE beer! Have you ever even tried a drink before?" the man asked. The nun looked down and shook her head. "Well, if you tried it, you would probably like it! Would you want to try something?" the man asked. The nun replied, "Okay, only one thing." "What would you like?" asked the man. He offered her beer and whiskey, but she declined. "How about a little gin?" the man concluded. "Okay, sure. But, can you ask them to put it in a mug so people don't see what I'm drinking?" asked the nun. "Fine," the man walks into the bar and waves to the bartender. "Hey, can I have a bottle of beer and a bit of gin? Also, can that be in a mug?" asked the man. The bartender looked up, with fury in his eyes. "Don't tell me that damn nun is out there again!" the bartender said.

what’s the hardest thing to eat on a vegetable? the wheelchair